A country’s future depends on its young people. Therefore, a country should invest heavily in its youth. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In the future, the country’s growth will depend on all young citizens.

Therefore

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, the government should invest since they are still young. I partially agree with these statements.

Hence

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, I would like to discuss

this

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issue and counter

this

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attack.

Firstly

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, the majority of the national budget should be separated into the education system within the citizens from the elementary level to the university level.

For example

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, Finland

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apply

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is the best education in the world, the teacher will get a higher salary to develop the student

according to

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the arbitrary ability in their classroom.

Otherwise

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, the population will lack the power and knowledge to develop their local.

In addition

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, the authority should support the knowledge centre for all children despite spending a lot of money because they can find a way of professional life in the future.

Moreover

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, without the direct investment of the government in the youths, rearing by the guardians has been the key to the manner of humans.

As a result

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, the politician should consider both the policy and the benefit when the family give birth new population.

For instance

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, in Europe, the tax on the merchandise for looking after the baby will be reduced.

Nevertheless

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, the people will mutually construct a security society for all individuals

although

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they spend time building that. Eventually, national growth will

also

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depend on the safety living of in the crown.

To conclude

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, not only properly separating the budget the children has played a crucial role in becoming good labourers but

also

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constructing a better society has been associated with being a developed country.

amittawinThu Jan 04 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure clarity and coherence by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific idea with appropriate supporting sentences. Use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Provide a clear opinion and ensure your ideas are fully developed with relevant examples. Maintain a balance between discussing the topic and providing an argument.

15
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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A country’s future depends on its young people. Therefore, a country should invest heavily in its youth. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

Some people think that they should spend the money they earn now enjoying life, while others think that the money should be put into savings for the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that it is better to work for a large company than a small one. Do you agree or disagree?