It is more important to spend public money promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

Many people say that in order to fight diseases, the government should invest more
money
in encouraging a healthy
lifestyle
instead
of spending
money
on the
treatment
of people who are already suffering from illness. I advocate
this
point of view. On one hand, I agree that a large proportion of the state budget should be allocated to activities or campaigns that promote a healthy
lifestyle
.
This
is because a lot of diseases nowadays are actually the direct result of people’s unhealthy habits.
For example
, children who eat fast food on a daily basis commonly can suffer from a range of health issues,
such
as weight problems and obesity. These diseases can be prevented if people are made more aware of the severe consequences of an unhealthy diet.
In addition
, there are a number of incurable diseases,
such
as HIV, AIDS and many forms of cancer. Of course, there are drugs and treatments that can prolong the life of patients suffering from
such
diseases, but
the better
Suggestion
the best
solution in
this
case is obviously trying to prevent these diseases from occurring,
instead
of trying to cure them, which can often place a heavy burden on patients’ families, and on society as a whole.
On the other hand
, the
treatment
for people who are already ill should
also
receive adequate funding, due to the fact that some diseases simply cannot be prevented. People living in many tropical or coastal regions,
for example
, are highly vulnerable to waterborne diseases after a natural disaster
such
as a tsunami or heavy flooding.
Additionally
, there are
also
some illnesses and disorders that are inherited.
For instance
, if a person suffers from asthma, it is highly likely that his children will
also
contract respiratory related diseases, regardless of their diet or
lifestyle
. These mentioned cases would be almost impossible for people or the government to prevent, and
therefore
money
needs to be spent on the
treatment
of patients. In conclusion, both promoting a healthy
lifestyle and
Accept comma addition
lifestyle, and
spending
money
on the
treatment
of people who are already ill are equally important in the fight against diseases, and each country should develop flexible plans to adapt to different situations.
Submitted by Aarinola on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • chronic diseases
  • healthcare costs
  • public health campaigns
  • lifestyle-related illnesses
  • quality of life
  • health-conscious society
  • allocate funds
  • balanced healthcare system
  • comprehensive healthcare strategy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: