Many poducts that we buy are made in other countries. Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages?

Living in the globalization era pursues local residents to purchase many items that were produced and imported by other nationals.
Although
this
may ease them to get international products that do not exist in their countries, it can threaten local producers and I believe that
this
advantage outweighs
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
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. Buying international goods may ease the local populations to gain the non-existent items that are sold in their markets. Not all local markets sold the commodities needed by their buyers because of the limit of
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
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natural resources and technology development.
For example
, Indonesians utilize imported smartphones from Europe, Korea, and China which have more advanced technology because these items can not be made by their local human resources.
This
transaction gives advantages to Indonesians's lives. On the negative side, buying international products can threaten local producers and can stop the country from creating better human resources.
First,
international trade can have negative effects on the
locals
's profit costs.
For instance
, the massive encouragement to purchase international products causes the demand of
locals
to decrease so that the
locals
can not earn high incomes. Not only does it
can
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apply
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threaten the
locals
, but it
also
can limit the countries
to
Change preposition
apply
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development. Take,
for instance
, the international smartphones sold in Indonesia can limit Indonesians to think that they can not develop their own technologies to make smartphones for their country. In conclusion,
although
buying international
commudities
Correct your spelling
communities
commodities
can make people easily gain what they need, I believe that the drawbacks are greatly outweighed by the threat to the local sellers and there will be
the
Correct article usage
apply
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limitation
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limitations
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to developing countries' technologies.
Submitted by nabilaintansari8 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph develops a clear main idea, with supporting details following in logical order.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more linking words or phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
To improve clarity, be precise in language use and avoid ambiguous phrases. Ensure that each argument directly supports the thesis.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to back up each main point, enhancing the persuasive power of the argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points and reiterates the writer’s position clearly.
complete response
The essay addresses the task by evaluating both sides of the argument regarding international products.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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