Shopping is now one of the most famous forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What is the reason? Is it positive or negative

A multitude of
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
populace in numerous nations considers shopping as one of the most
sough-after
Correct your spelling
sought-after
show examples
medium
Fix the agreement mistake
mediums
show examples
in spare
time
.
This
trend is gaining momentum
due to
the easy access to products. I firmly believe that it has a detrimental effect on individuals. To embark on, nowadays, youths resort to purchasing products in their free
time
owing to the availability of goods. With the opening up of new shopping avenues,
such
as malls and supermarkets, youngsters are at ease to drive
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
such
destinations and indulge in casual
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
.
Moreover
, with the advent of online shopping, the young generation finds it quite convenient to glance at articles, and if they find it attractive or useful,
then
they buy it without any qualms. Most of the adolescents could be seen hooked on to shopping portals,
such
as Amazon, Flipkart, and Myntra, during
leisure
Correct pronoun usage
their leisure
show examples
period. Shopping used to be a necessity;
however
, in the present era, it seems to be deleterious. Youths are getting trapped in a hobby
that is
unproductive in nature; it is merely
squandering
Correct article usage
a squandering
show examples
of
time
and financial resources.
Although
shopping rejuvenates an individual, it does not bear fruit in terms of knowledge. A person could not attain any merit for future prospects.
Moreover
, youngsters are becoming
shopaholic
Fix the agreement mistake
shopaholics
show examples
. It has been elucidated in an editorial in The Times magazine that youths are addicted to
this
damaging practice of shopping. Youngsters procure a sense of pleasure and satisfaction
while
shopping and they surrender themselves to
this
activity whenever they feel the urge. To recapitulate,
while
shopping is one of the famous
pass
Correct your spelling
pastimes
show examples
time
for today’s youth
due to
readily available products, it is
fruitless
Correct article usage
a fruitless
show examples
business.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
For Task Achievement, make sure to address all parts of the prompt, including discussing both the reasons for shopping as a leisure activity for young adults and evaluating whether it is positive or negative. Provide a balanced view in your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on improving the structure of the essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Also, strengthen the introduction and conclusion to provide a more cohesive argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumer culture
  • Marketing strategies
  • E-commerce
  • Proliferation
  • Socializing
  • Self-expression
  • Identity formation
  • Materialism
  • Instant gratification
  • Trendy
  • Leisure activity
  • Frequent purchases
  • Accessible
  • Convenient
What to do next:
Look at other essays: