Some people think the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Lifestyle has undergone dramatic changes over couples of decades. Childhood obesity is burgeoning problem these days in many parts of the world. It is
debatable topic
Suggestion
a debatable topic
that whether government should amenable for chubbiness in youngster or parents.In
this
Linking Words
essay I shall discuss both view points before forming my opinion. Some individuals believed that government has
major role
Suggestion
a major role
in increasing fatness factor among kids. Government focus on main
subjects but
Accept comma addition
subjects, but
not on physical activities.
To
Suggestion
For
In
a moment, juveniles learn maths and language subjects more than physical curriculum which results incline in obesity.
On the other hand
Linking Words
people owing their personal vehicle more and more nowadays,
therefore
Linking Words
government
Suggestion
the government
should encouraged
Suggestion
should encourage
people to walk by
prohibit
Suggestion
prohibiting
more than one vehicle per family.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: