Some people believe that children are given too much freedom. they feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

#people #children #freedom #time #school #work

As the world

has progressed

Suggestion

progresses

and emphasis is laid on other activities outside of

school

work

as well, some consider that

this

has provided children with a lot of free

time

which is unproductive. It is a strong belief among some that extra

school

work

should be done

Suggestion

this

time

. I believe that though children do have a lot of leisure

time

at their disposal, it should be utilized not in

school

work

but by involving in activities which enhance other aspects of their personality resulting in overall development.

Firstly

, sporting activities are important for the physical growth of children which should be inculcated in daily routine. It is vital for a child’s development that

in addition

to the mental activity done via

school

work

, physical activity should

also

be done. In my opinion, playing any sport in free

time

serves

this

very purpose. Not only children develop other

interests but

Accept comma addition

interests, but

stay healthy as well.

For example

a child

who after

Accept comma addition

who, after

completing

school

work

also

likes to play football would indeed be more physically fit compared to the one who does not.

Also it

Accept comma addition

Also, it

does help in relieving stress after a hefty

school

day to go out and have some good old-fashioned fun resulting in better mental health.

Consequently

, social skills

also plays

Suggestion

also play

a very important role in life and should be taught from early on. The paramount way to achieve

this

would be encouraging one’s child to mingle socially with others and make friends. Studies have shown that largely people have isolated themselves due to which they suffer from mental ailments. It is incumbent upon us to make sure that our children doesn’t suffer from

same

Suggestion

sameness

Therefore

, I would like to see children going out and indulging in various activities with their friends. What

this

will do is improve their social skills and would provide them with a strong support system. In conclusion, I strongly feel that though children do have free

time but

Accept comma addition

time, but

it should be not be utilized by giving extra

school

work

as a sufficient amount is already there. Rather,

this

free

time

should be used more productively like playing sports or being socially

active resulting

Accept comma addition

active, resulting

in a better overall personality which is essential in life.

Submitted by Raj on Mon Aug 12 2019

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

371 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children are given too much freedom. they feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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