The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Social media has become an integral part of modern life. For some, it is an essential tool for communication and information,
while
for others, it raises concerns about its impact on social interactions and well-being. This
essay will explore both the positive and negative aspects of these platforms and argue why, in my opinion, the drawbacks outweigh the advantages.
Platforms like Facebook and Instagram have played a crucial role in connecting people worldwide. They provide a space for users to share information, stay updated on global news, and experience different cultures. For example
, the Black Lives Matter movement gained international attention through online networks, highlighting issues of racial discrimination faced by people of African descent, particularly in Western countries. Without these tools, many individuals might remain unaware of such
significant social issues.
However
, despite these benefits, online networks can also
have detrimental effects on mental health and well-being. One major concern is the tendency for individuals to use these spaces as an escape from reality, avoiding the challenges of daily life. The term "hikikomori" describes people, often those addicted to the internet, who withdraw from society and isolate themselves. Furthermore
, the online world is not always a safe space. There are risks of identity theft and exposure to cyberbullying, which can have long-lasting negative effects on emotional health.
In conclusion, while
online networks offer valuable opportunities for connection and awareness, I believe their negative impact is more significant. To mitigate these adverse effects, it is essential to limit the amount of time spent on social media and encourage more balanced and healthy ways of engaging with the digital world.Submitted by shahobhozratkulov on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Focus on using more sophisticated linking words to further enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Ensure that each argument is supported with specific, detailed examples. Although your example of the Black Lives Matter movement is effective, additional examples could further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument. This enhances the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly articulated and supported by relevant examples, such as the reference to the Black Lives Matter movement. This contributes to a well-rounded task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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