The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#media #e #g #facebook #twitter #contact #people #life #development

Social media has become an integral part of modern life. For some, it is an essential tool for communication and information,

while

for others, it raises concerns about its impact on social interactions and well-being.

This

essay will explore both the positive and negative aspects of these platforms and argue why, in my opinion, the drawbacks outweigh the advantages. Platforms like Facebook and Instagram have played a crucial role in connecting people worldwide. They provide a space for users to share information, stay updated on global news, and experience different cultures.

For example

, the Black Lives Matter movement gained international attention through online networks, highlighting issues of racial discrimination faced by people of African descent, particularly in Western countries. Without these tools, many individuals might remain unaware of

such

significant social issues.

However

, despite these benefits, online networks can

also

have detrimental effects on mental health and well-being. One major concern is the tendency for individuals to use these spaces as an escape from reality, avoiding the challenges of daily life. The term "hikikomori" describes people, often those addicted to the internet, who withdraw from society and isolate themselves.

Furthermore

, the online world is not always a safe space. There are risks of identity theft and exposure to cyberbullying, which can have long-lasting negative effects on emotional health. In conclusion,

while

online networks offer valuable opportunities for connection and awareness, I believe their negative impact is more significant. To mitigate these adverse effects, it is essential to limit the amount of time spent on social media and encourage more balanced and healthy ways of engaging with the digital world.

Submitted by shahobhozratkulov on Tue Aug 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Focus on using more sophisticated linking words to further enhance cohesion.

task achievement

Ensure that each argument is supported with specific, detailed examples. Although your example of the Black Lives Matter movement is effective, additional examples could further strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument. This enhances the overall coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Your ideas are clearly articulated and supported by relevant examples, such as the reference to the Black Lives Matter movement. This contributes to a well-rounded task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

connectivity
communication
convenience
accessibility
self-expression
creativity
information
perspectives
maintain
genuine
miscommunication
misunderstandings
mental health
well-being
addiction
excessive screen time
privacy concerns
online security risks

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The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

More and more people are using computer and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books, magazines and newspapers on paper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on children to succeed. What are the reasons for doing this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Living in a country where you have to speak another language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statment.