Some people believe that our happiness depend on how much money we have. Others say that ‘money cannot buy happiness.’ Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

#people #happiness #money #‘money #factors

It is argued that

happiness

is dependent on the amount of

money

we have. But others believe that

money

is the key lead to

happiness

. I agree with

this

idea, but not completely.

Money

plays a significant role in our lives. It is obvious that we need

money

to pay for bills and buy essentials.

In addition

, we can use

money

Suggestion

the money

to buy luxuries which we love,

such

as fashionable clothes in a special occasion or cinema tickets to entertain together with family and friends.

Therefore

, I believe that the more

money

we have for a good standard of living the more comfortable and cheerful we are.

For instance

, Bill Gates is a billionaire who founded Microsoft. His present life is affluence and comfortable with a smartest house in the world, monumental private aircraft and massive

supercar

collection.

Nevertheless

money

is not the only factor to lead to

happiness

. For someone, they have a great family and some good friends who raise them up when they fail so they are happy. Others said that they look for

happiness

through some works which contribute to

community

Suggestion

the community

, especially help unlucky people and the old. To me, I very cheerful and comfortable when I have many great comic books and watch television all my free time without

complain

Suggestion

complaints

complaining

from my parents.

Therefore

, there can be many factors that create

happiness

. In conclusion, in my point of view, having a huge amount of

money

is a great

thing

Accept comma addition

thing, however

however

it is not the single factors which contribute to

happiness

. Everyone is

different so

Accept comma addition

different, so

the key to

happiness

of each person is different.

Thu Aug 15 2019

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that our happiness depend on how much money we have. Others say that ‘money cannot buy happiness.’ Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

5.6. Some people think that robots are very important for humans' future development. Others, however, think that robots are a dangerous invention that could have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, schools are open late so that children can be looked after when parents are at work. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some governments say how many children a family can have in their home. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. Do you agree or disagree?