Some people believe that our happiness depend on how much money we have. Others say that ‘money cannot buy happiness.’ Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

#people #happiness #money #‘money #factors

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It is argued that

happiness

is dependent on the amount of

money

we have. But others believe that

money

is the key lead to

happiness

. I agree with

this

idea, but not completely.

Money

plays a significant role in our lives. It is obvious that we need

money

to pay for bills and buy essentials.

In addition

, we can use

money

Suggestion

the money

to buy luxuries which we love,

such

as fashionable clothes in a special occasion or cinema tickets to entertain together with family and friends.

Therefore

, I believe that the more

money

we have for a good standard of living the more comfortable and cheerful we are.

For instance

, Bill Gates is a billionaire who founded Microsoft. His present life is affluence and comfortable with a smartest house in the world, monumental private aircraft and massive

supercar

collection.

Nevertheless

money

is not the only factor to lead to

happiness

. For someone, they have a great family and some good friends who raise them up when they fail so they are happy. Others said that they look for

happiness

through some works which contribute to

community

Suggestion

the community

, especially help unlucky people and the old. To me, I very cheerful and comfortable when I have many great comic books and watch television all my free time without

complain

Suggestion

complaints

complaining

from my parents.

Therefore

, there can be many factors that create

happiness

. In conclusion, in my point of view, having a huge amount of

money

is a great

thing

Accept comma addition

thing, however

however

it is not the single factors which contribute to

happiness

. Everyone is

different so

Accept comma addition

different, so

the key to

happiness

of each person is different.

Thu Aug 15 2019

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Some people believe that our happiness depend on how much money we have. Others say that ‘money cannot buy happiness.’ Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?

Many people work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only the workers benefits from this and not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that the users should cover the costs. Discuss and give your opinion.

Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others see that having a friendly relations is better. what do you think? Discus both points and give us opinion.

Some schools now offer their courses on the internet so that people can study online. Do you think this is a positive or negative development