IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that competition is good at work or school. Others think that cooperation is important rather than competetion. Dicuss both views along with your opinion.

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Some people argue that
competition
Use synonyms
 is essential in academic and professional environments, as it drives individuals to perform at their best. Others,
however
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, believe that cooperation is far more beneficial for personal development and the success of organizations.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint. On one hand, supporters of
competition
Use synonyms
 claim it fosters motivation and excellence. In educational settings, students who compete are often more driven to achieve higher grades, which in turn enhances their knowledge and skills.
Likewise
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, in the workplace, employees may feel encouraged to improve their productivity and innovate, as a way to outshine their peers and earn recognition.
Furthermore
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,
competition
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 can simulate real-life challenges, preparing individuals to thrive in a highly demanding world.
On the other hand
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, proponents of cooperation argue that collaboration promotes a more inclusive and supportive environment. In schools, group projects teach students to value different perspectives, develop communication skills, and solve problems collectively. In professional contexts, teamwork often leads to more creative and effective solutions, as it combines the strengths of multiple individuals.
In addition
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, a cooperative atmosphere can reduce stress and foster a sense of belonging, which is vital for long-term satisfaction and mental well-being. In my opinion,
while
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 a healthy level of
competition
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 can be motivating, the importance of cooperation cannot be overstated. In today’s interconnected world, the ability to work effectively with others is a crucial skill that often outweighs individual achievement.
Therefore
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, educational institutions and workplaces should strike a balance between encouraging excellence through
competition
Use synonyms
 and

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Task Achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or case studies to support your arguments regarding competition and cooperation. This will enrich your discussion and provide clearer evidence for your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more varied linking phrases between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion stating your opinion.
Task Achievement
Your arguments are logically presented and you effectively weigh both sides of the debate before offering your perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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