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Band 6.5

Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #terms #prison #crime #rate
How to handle criminals is a problem that all countries and society face.
However
, whether government should punish crimes by placing them in jail for a long time to pay for what they have done or not is a controversial issue. I am of the opinion that trying to make them better with training and
education
maybe
Suggestion
may be
 a
good
Suggestion
better
 approach than we lock them in
prison
. There are several significant benefits associated with criminal
education
.
First
 of all, it is obvious that many people have a tendency to end up their
life time
the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death)
lifetime
 in the
prison
 because they did not have a good
education
 and a happy family. If crimes are taught a job-related knowledge which will enable them to become skilled employees in the future, most of them, after liberty, can enter the workplace, earn a living and support their families.
Therefore
, the return crime rate will reduce.
Moreover
, consider all the money that the government spent to lock people up in jail. It does not seem like a good use of the budget because most criminals eventually will let out of the
prison
, we should give top priority to make them better citizens and spend that money on welfare system
such
 as a hospital or
education
Suggestion
educational
 establishment.
This
 is not to say,
however
, that we should neglect the positive impact of a jail. There are, of course, some people commit serious crimes like mass murder or violate other people need to be given in the
prison
 during the rest of their
life
. But still,
education
 has a crucial role in making criminals become useful for society. In conclusion, the major function of the prisons should be providing most crimes with disciplines that relate to their future
life
. Meanwhile, we should not ignore the important roles criminals are undertaking. Only by doing so, we can ensure that they will have a good
life
 after having freedom.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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