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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that criminals should be given longer terms in prison, so as to reduce the crime rate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #terms #prison #crime #rate
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How to handle criminals is a problem that all countries and society face.
However
, whether government should punish crimes by placing them in jail for a long time to pay for what they have done or not is a controversial issue. I am of the opinion that trying to make them better with training and
education
maybe
Suggestion
may be
 a
good
Suggestion
better
 approach than we lock them in
prison
. There are several significant benefits associated with criminal
education
.
First
 of all, it is obvious that many people have a tendency to end up their
life time
the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death)
lifetime
 in the
prison
 because they did not have a good
education
 and a happy family. If crimes are taught a job-related knowledge which will enable them to become skilled employees in the future, most of them, after liberty, can enter the workplace, earn a living and support their families.
Therefore
, the return crime rate will reduce.
Moreover
, consider all the money that the government spent to lock people up in jail. It does not seem like a good use of the budget because most criminals eventually will let out of the
prison
, we should give top priority to make them better citizens and spend that money on welfare system
such
 as a hospital or
education
Suggestion
educational
 establishment.
This
 is not to say,
however
, that we should neglect the positive impact of a jail. There are, of course, some people commit serious crimes like mass murder or violate other people need to be given in the
prison
 during the rest of their
life
. But still,
education
 has a crucial role in making criminals become useful for society. In conclusion, the major function of the prisons should be providing most crimes with disciplines that relate to their future
life
. Meanwhile, we should not ignore the important roles criminals are undertaking. Only by doing so, we can ensure that they will have a good
life
 after having freedom.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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