IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientists? Do you agree or disagree? Support with reasons and examples from your own experience

#people #entertainers #scientists #support
It is often argued that entertainers are more popular than the scientists.
However
 the importances of entertainers
such
 as film stars, comedians cannot be defined with popularity and fame. Some people believe that in todays time, entertainers is as much important as scientists experiments and evolution. I completely disagree with
this
 opinion and think that science research play a vital role in the developing world.
First
 of all, I believe all professions are important whether they are entertainers or researchers, but these two professions are not comparable. People believe that wages in entertainment profession,
such
 as sports, movies or cinemas increase rapidly with the fame of the person. People start following the lifestyle of superstar as they got famous and they believe that money is more important than the knowledge.
Although
 a sports person provides glory to the country in their fields and sports as an entertainment help society to get physically fit.
Secondly
, scientists as a career not only help individuals, but their output will help other people
also
.
However
, people are afraid to choose
this
 occupation because it requires more qualified education and courses are
also
 expensive.
For instance
, the galaxy experiments are quite costly and one needs high education and certifications which require money to fulfil their desire. Beside
this
 scientific experiments
such
 as Mission Mangal, provide fame to the nation. On the whole, I support the idea that the profession which provide growth of the nation are more important.
However
, wages and stardom is more in professions like entertainment, but that cannot define their importance to the whole world.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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