You would like to rent a car for a holiday. Write to the car rental agency. In your letter • Explain what type of car you would like • Give details of when you would like the car • Request more information about the cost

Dear Mr. Ken, I am writing to request an application for a
car
rental. My family and I planning to have a holiday vacation in Hawaii for a week next month. I would like to give some information about the application process.
Firstly
, my family consists of five people, which are four adults and one child.
Therefore
I would like to have an SUV
car
with four-wheel drive. The model could be arranged from 2019 until now.
Moreover
, I love to enjoy the beautiful sky in Hawaii, so I
also
want the
car
to have a sunroof. Since my child is 3 years old, I would appreciate it if there is a babysitting in the
car
for him. Could you please inform me about the pricing cost for the type of
car
I mentioned? I
also
want to know about the
car
insurance cost and what is covered by the fee. I appreciate your time and attention. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours Sincerely, My Ha
Submitted by mynahamy on

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Task Response
Make sure to directly address all parts of the task in your letter. While your letter addressed the main points, some specifics, such as the exact dates when the car is needed, could be more clearly stated to fully meet the task response criterion.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, make transitions between paragraphs and sentences smoother by using linking words and phrases. This helps in guiding the reader through your letter fluently.
Task Response
For a higher score in task achievement, ensure all requests and requirements are explicitly stated. Adding exact dates for the car rental would further strengthen your letter.
Tone of Writing
Maintain a consistent formal tone throughout the letter for suitability to the task's purpose and recipient. Avoid overly informal expressions or slang unless it's appropriate for the context or recipient.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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