You would like to rent a car for a holiday. Write to the car rental agency. In your letter • Explain what type of car you would like • Give details of when you would like the car • Request more information about the cost

#rent #car #holiday #agency #type #request #information #cost

Dear Mr. Ken, I am writing to request an application for a

car

rental. My family and I planning to have a holiday vacation in Hawaii for a week next month. I would like to give some information about the application process.

Firstly

, my family consists of five people, which are four adults and one child.

Therefore

I would like to have an SUV

car

with four-wheel drive. The model could be arranged from 2019 until now.

Moreover

, I love to enjoy the beautiful sky in Hawaii, so I

also

want the

car

to have a sunroof. Since my child is 3 years old, I would appreciate it if there is a babysitting in the

car

for him. Could you please inform me about the pricing cost for the type of

car

I mentioned? I

also

want to know about the

car

insurance cost and what is covered by the fee. I appreciate your time and attention. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours Sincerely, My Ha

Submitted by mynahamy on Wed Mar 20 2024

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Task Response

Make sure to directly address all parts of the task in your letter. While your letter addressed the main points, some specifics, such as the exact dates when the car is needed, could be more clearly stated to fully meet the task response criterion.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence, make transitions between paragraphs and sentences smoother by using linking words and phrases. This helps in guiding the reader through your letter fluently.

Task Response

For a higher score in task achievement, ensure all requests and requirements are explicitly stated. Adding exact dates for the car rental would further strengthen your letter.

Tone of Writing

Maintain a consistent formal tone throughout the letter for suitability to the task's purpose and recipient. Avoid overly informal expressions or slang unless it's appropriate for the context or recipient.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

169 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You would like to rent a car for a holiday. Write to the car rental agency. In your letter • Explain what type of car you would like • Give details of when you would like the car • Request more information about the cost

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

New technologies provided machines which replaced workers to do certain physical jobs and tasks. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.