IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many jobs in the home nowadays can be done by machine. Has it brought more advantage than disadvantage.

#jobs #home #machine #advantage
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undoubted that, more and more people use modern technologies to do
housework
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 development is positive and negative in equal measure. On the one hand, there are some countable disadvantages to the automate work.
Firstly
Linking Words
, utilizing machines to do chores will be expensive and not
environment
Suggestion
environmentally
-friendly. In fact, modern technologies need a great deal of energies to operate
such
Linking Words
 as washing machines and gas stove, leading the increase of cost of living as well as the lack of water and other resources.
In addition
Linking Words
, the modern machines that do
housework
Use synonyms
 are not as clean as people.
For example
Linking Words
, individuals mostly wash clothes by hand and just use
laundry machines
Suggestion
the laundry machines
 to make them dry faster.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the advantages of up-to-date technologies should not be underestimated. One dominant benefit is that the smart devices are convenient and save people’s time. Indeed,
instead
Linking Words
 of doing
housework
Use synonyms
, residents can spend quality time doing their jobs, enabling them to earn more money, improving their living standards.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, household technologies have made homes safer, cleaner.
For instance
Linking Words
, before people used many stoves that came from coal, wood or other solid fuels. The heat could not be easily controlled and they were often
smokey
marked by or emitting or filled with smoke
smoky
smoked
smoke
 and
messy so
Accept comma addition
messy, so
 homes were routinely covered with a dust and the introduction of vacuum cleaner helped people clean up
whole the house,
Suggestion
the whole house,
 enhancing the quality of air. In conclusion, the popularity of
housework
Use synonyms
 machines has both positive and negative for the humanity life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: