IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that art is an essential subject and every child should learn it in school. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #art #child #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people say that
art
Use synonyms
 is an essential
subject
Use synonyms
 and every child should learn it in
school
Use synonyms
. Do you agree or disagree? It is believed by some people that children should be taught
art
Use synonyms
 as a
subject
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 because it is considered as vital curriculum. In my opinion, I completely disagree that
art
Use synonyms
 is an important
subject
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 because it does not help with career and support main
study
Use synonyms
 topics. The
first
Linking Words
 and foremost reason why children should not learn
art
Use synonyms
 is that it does not facilitate to secure prospective career.
In other words
Linking Words
, by learning
art
Use synonyms
 as a skill, it is not possible to earn attractive remuneration in these days.
For example
Linking Words
, many artists’ livelihoods in Bangladesh depend on government grants.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 cannot be an essential
subject
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 as it does not contribute to lead a prosperous life. Another reason of not studying
art
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 is that it will hamper the
study
Use synonyms
 of main subjects
such
Linking Words
 as science, maths and English.
In other words
Linking Words
, students will get less time to concentrate on their main subjects, which is vital for future admission in college.
Moreover
Linking Words
, devoting all
study
Use synonyms
 time in improving the grades of principal subjects helps children to secure better career in life.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
school
Use synonyms
 should teach subjects, which relate to other principal subjects.
For example
Linking Words
, computer class will be more beneficial to children rather than
art
Use synonyms
 class because in future it will help them in doing science projects.
Thus
Linking Words
, children should not learn
art
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 as a compulsory
subject
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, as
art
Use synonyms
 does not contribute to future job and support principal
study
Use synonyms
 subjects, children should not learn it in
school
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shawlin90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: