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Band 4.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: “When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success”.

#“when #people #work #luck #success”
There are many factors contribute to people’s
success
Accept comma addition
success, such
such
 as hard work, knowledge, certificates, flexibility, skills, etc. In my view, in order to achieve
success
, not only do we need attempt and self-ability but we sometimes get fortune as well. It is no doubt to say that industry is the premise of
success
 because everything in the universe is governed by the principle of cause and effect. These causes are agglomerated day by day by people’s
endeavor
a purposeful or industrious undertaking (especially one that requires effort or boldness)
endeavour
endeavours
 and they will become successful one day. There are many examples, in real life, of the people who always work hard and never give up. Dr. Pepper, who invented lemon-lime cola is a good example. It is said that before he succeeded, he had failed six times. Thanks to persistency and effort, that man achieved
impressive result
Suggestion
impressive results
an impressive result
 with famous beverage. We can say the road to
success
 never lacks sweat and tears. In the other aspect, we cannot deny the necessity of
luck
 in people’s
success
. If all competitors work as hard as you do, the only thing you need to defeat them is
luck
. We can see examples at football, sometimes the luckier team will be the winner.
Besides
, even if you really want to succeed and have tried your best, there are many factors to decide someone’s
success
 and you cannot control all of them. They combine closely with each other and only a mistake can destroy every achievement that you try to build. In that case, you really need a bit of
luck
 (a little fortune). In conclusion, whether you want to admit it or not,
luck
 still has a role in everyone’s
success
.
It
Suggestion
Its
 combination with other factors, it will enable
people to succeed more
Suggestion
more people to succeed
 easily.
Submitted by anhson0402 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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