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Writing Samples
Band 7

some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is widely thought that people protecting themselves cannot have a big influence,
while
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 there is still some thought that the
environment
Use synonyms
 can be protected by
individuals
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. Despite the negligible effect of them on what they preserve,
this
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 writer strongly agrees with the latter statement to some extent. Admittedly, there are numerous reasons why some hold the belief that
individuals
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 cannot make any difference with what they protect. Chief of these is that the effort of
individuals
Use synonyms
 is too small to deal with many pressing and prohibitively difficult problems relating to the
environment
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 like climate change.
Therefore
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, the critics argue that they should need state-of-the-art equipment from the government and big companies for searching feasible solutions.
Moreover
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, acting by themselves means that the organization and the effectiveness are not ensured as they do not take the same strategic and structured plan as others.
As a result
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,
this
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 cannot achieve the optimal success. In spite of the drawbacks mentioned above,
individuals
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 can definitely foster the quality of nowadays
environment
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. Evidently, many big volunteering campaigns originate from many talented
individuals
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 and some leaders to stir people to do in the proper way, so small actions can actually significantly influence the general
environment
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.
For example
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, everyone just carries out little things like throwing rubbish in the right way
instead
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 of discarding it indiscriminately, our
environment
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 can be less polluted and fresher.
Furthermore
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, they can
also
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 spend a little money on green businesses to have enough expenses to conduct environmentally- friendly practices. In conclusion, given the probable disorganization and strong help from the authorities in solving climate change, I do understand why the difference cannot be made by
individuals
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.
However
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, in terms of the
environment
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, everyone can indeed make it better by simple actions and supporting
little money
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little-money
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eco-friendly companies.

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task achievement
You have addressed both views of the argument effectively and provided a clear opinion. However, your main points could be supported with more specific examples to enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Consider restructuring your sentences to avoid repetition and redundancy. This will improve readability and clarity.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views and clearly states your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You have used cohesive devices effectively to connect your ideas and arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • eco-friendly
  • collective impact
  • grassroots movements
  • systemic changes
  • sustainable products
  • environmental degradation
  • coordinated actions
  • policy changes
  • environmental-friendly policies
  • advocacy efforts
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