IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that increasing the price of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #foods
To start with
this
 topic, overweight is one of the major problems in the recent age. The main reason for getting more weight is, due to having more cholesterol kind of foods. Independent of the price, people buy the junk
food
 and have it as part of their regular meal. The upcoming passages will be illustrating the same concept.
Firstly
, the intake of
food
 will play the major role for becoming fat.
In particular
, there are few eatable items which will definitely make the people fat,
however
, everyone wants the same
food
 as it has more taste.
That is
 the secret of the hotels, where they will be adding more chemicals to the
food
, making it taste better.
For example
, the oil items make you chubby easily, but, the taste it has, people will go for it often.
This
 is the problem which the current generation is facing, and the majority of the people think that it will solve, if the rates are increased.
For instance
, the government decided to increase the price of fattening foods, there will be a little amount of people will stop having the
food
 often but, they won't stop completely. The hotels are going to be profiting from
this
 course of action, but not the people.
Moreover
, the people should have control on their diets rather than increasing the price of eatables. That way, they will have the self control on the
food
 as well as the diet manner. To conclude
this
, I totally disagree that the increase in the rate of
food
 will not stop people buying the fattening foods from the shop rather it will have burdens on the middle class people who cannot afford those foods.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
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