IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities, which are played alone. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is often agreed that people can acquire a great deal of
skills
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 from
team
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 activities. Even if it does not appeal to me at all. I completely disagree with
this
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 opinion and I think that people
also
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 can be great skilful by Solely. First of all, as we know
skills
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 only come from diligently hard work with long-term patients. In order to be a skilful person, definitely we have to spend time solely on study or work and it
also
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 matters what types of environments we choose for study or work so that we can think deeply, solve sophisticated
problems
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 and so on.
This
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 is why the majority of people are self-reliant: and like to do anything by themselves without a helping hand from the group.
For example
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, some students, nowadays, often face a lot of
problems
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 in their daily lives but they can able to solve these kinds of
problems
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 by using the Internet
instead
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 of making a
team
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, where all
problems
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 have solutions available.
Secondly
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, there are many competitions usually held by both teams and individuals. Individual learning methods and
team
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 learning methods both are different. On the one hand, a cricket
team
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 has 11 players, and
while
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 they play with an opponent
team
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, all those players have to same thing to win the match, but each and every player has a personal trainer to learn
skills
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.
On the other hand
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, badminton games are played by one with an opponent player, so the individual person has to play and think solely. Both types of players have crucial rules and regulations where they represent their
skills
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. So, individual
skills
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 are most important. In conclusion, I strongly believe that individual activities are most important for a person to do something in life.
However
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, some
skills
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 accumulate from
team
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 working or study which are
also
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 vital for us in life.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly expresses your opinion. While you state disagreement, your wording can be clearer and more engaging.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Revise and improve the logical flow of your ideas. Try to make smoother transitions between points to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
You included an introduction and conclusion, which provide a clear structure to your essay.
task achievement
You attempted to address both sides of the argument, which is good for a balanced perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaboration
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • leadership
  • interpersonal skills
  • teamwork
  • belonging
  • learning from others
  • responsibility
  • accountability
  • self-discipline
  • self-motivation
  • personal reflection
  • introspection
  • independence
  • self-reliance
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