IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A teacher's ability to relate well with students is more important than the ability to give knowledge.

#teacher #ability #students
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Education plays a
fundemental
Correct your spelling
fundamental
 role in receiving discipline and academic skills
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 people`s lives and
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Correct article usage
the teachers
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teachers
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teachers'
teacher's
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 aspect is of utmost importance. To examine
this
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 topic,
this
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 essay will examine the question and give my point of view. First and foremost,
teachers
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 are of the essence during the whole human life because they teach the community essential and basic skills.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society learned how they
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 hunt, prepare food so forth in the past .
In contrast
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, people today learn more academic subjects
such
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 as math, physics, literature etc. Schools
almost
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are almost
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 the first places in
childrens`
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children's
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 lives to receive knowledge which
also
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affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 their future lifestyles. Students decide their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 during
the
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apply
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school time and tutors can give a positive direction for their
career
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careers
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.
For example
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,if tutors
be
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are
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 attentive to
talants
Correct your spelling
talents
 of students they will be good at their profession.
Secondly
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, the relationships between
teachers
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 and youngsters
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also
Add a missing verb
are also
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crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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 part of their education. Children should start to observe standards of
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 and communication at an early period of their life
among
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with
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 their family members. These skills assist
young
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the young
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 generation
be
Wrong verb form
in being
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 more attentive in communication with their instructors and classmates.
Moreover
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,
teachers
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also
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 should have the ability to
relatewell
Correct your spelling
relate well
 with youngsters
due to
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 their influence
at
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on
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 students` psychology and academic success.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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negative relationships with students can
led
Change the verb form
lead
be led
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 to
bullyng amoung
Correct your spelling
bullying among
 their peers.
To sum up
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, I firmly agree that
teachers
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 should be careful and mindful with teenagers because of different aspects, and both knowledge and contact are their first duties
Submitted by abdurahimov03 on

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task achievement
Ensure you address the task directly and develop your argument logically. You partially addressed the task, but your points were not always clear. Understand the task's demand and develop a clearer stance without deviating from the key topic.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas clearly by having a proper introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your introduction and conclusion should explicitly state your point of view and summarize the main points. Use transition words to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples. The examples provided were vague and did not strongly support your argument. Use more detailed and relevant examples to illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Avoid spelling and grammatical errors, this can detract from the overall coherence and persuasion of your argument, as seen with 'relatewell' which should be 'relate well'. Proofread your work to correct these issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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