Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The issue of children’s health in recent days remains controversial. One of most remarkable factors that cause their higher level of unhealthiness is their unwholesome
lifestyle
.
However
, while some people share the belief that children
theirselves
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
have to deal with
this
problem, I totally agree the idea both parents and schools take the responsibility for it. Some reasons supporting my opinion will be under indication with the scope of
this
writing. On one hand, parents are those who take main responsibility for children’s growth and maturity without a doubt. The
first
reason for it is that parents’ ways of teaching their children have
influence
Suggestion
an influence
on the young’s
lifestyle
.
For example
, some Vietnamese parents who
regular
Suggestion
regularly
spend
whole day
Suggestion
the whole day
a whole day
earning money tend to let their
children
Suggestion
child's
self-educate, self-grow. They just give the young some money for
entire day
Suggestion
the entire day
an entire day
and come to work. As a consequence, what they eat and drink
everyday
Suggestion
every day
can lead to their sickness. Even if that young people eat
unnutrient
any substance that can be metabolized by an animal to give energy and build tissue
nutrient
food
such
as
chese
a solid food prepared from the pressed curd of milk
cheese
, fat, sugar, junk food and alcohol is not prevented, unfortunately it can become their
habbits
an established custom
habit
. The
second
reason is that children’s activities are mirror of parents’ ones because the young usually have a tend to follow what adults do. A
son
a short musical composition with words
song
can follow his father to get drunk, a
daughther
a female human offspring
daughter
can follow her mother’s staying up late. If adults do not take care of
theirselves
Suggestion
their selves
, their children will ignore health as well.
On the other hand
, schools
also
are in charge of dealing with
this
problem.
Firstly
, children easily get affected by their
educative
Suggestion
educational
environment. They are not old enough to know what is right and what is wrong.
For instance
, a boy can copy his bad friends to smoke, which leads him to some respiratory illnesses.
Secondly
, regulations in schools have troubles. The time
getting
Suggestion
is getting
to get
started
first
period is too early for students to get to
schools
Suggestion
school
on time.
As a result
, students usually get drowsy in classes and do not focus on lessons. Not only does it have influence on their knowledge, but leads them to an
unhealthiness
Suggestion
unhealthy
lifestyle
. To sum up, both parents and schools contribute to build
children’s
Suggestion
a children’s lifestyle
lifestyle
. Leading the young to
wholesome
Suggestion
a wholesome lifestyle
lifestyle
helps them not just to raise their awareness of health but shape their future life.
Submitted by hannaneh.esfandyari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unhealthy lifestyle
  • growing concern
  • crucial role
  • addressing this issue
  • promote healthy habits
  • educational programs
  • physical activities
  • establish healthy routines
  • nutritious meals
  • collaboration
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!