Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The issue of children’s health in recent days remains controversial. One of most remarkable factors that cause their higher level of unhealthiness is their unwholesome
lifestyle
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.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, while some people share the belief that children
theirselves
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
have to deal with
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

problem, I totally agree the idea both parents and schools take the responsibility for it. Some reasons supporting my opinion will be under indication with the scope of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

writing. On one hand, parents are those who take main responsibility for children’s growth and maturity without a doubt. The
first
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reason for it is that parents’ ways of teaching their children have
influence
Suggestion
an influence
on the young’s
lifestyle
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some Vietnamese parents who
regular
Suggestion
regularly
spend
whole day
Suggestion
the whole day
a whole day
earning money tend to let their
children
Suggestion
child's
self-educate, self-grow. They just give the young some money for
entire day
Suggestion
the entire day
an entire day
and come to work. As a consequence, what they eat and drink
everyday
Suggestion
every day
can lead to their sickness. Even if that young people eat
unnutrient
any substance that can be metabolized by an animal to give energy and build tissue
nutrient
food
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
chese
a solid food prepared from the pressed curd of milk
cheese
, fat, sugar, junk food and alcohol is not prevented, unfortunately it can become their
habbits
an established custom
habit
. The
second
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

reason is that children’s activities are mirror of parents’ ones because the young usually have a tend to follow what adults do. A
son
a short musical composition with words
song
can follow his father to get drunk, a
daughther
a female human offspring
daughter
can follow her mother’s staying up late. If adults do not take care of
theirselves
Suggestion
their selves
, their children will ignore health as well.
On the other hand
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, schools
also
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are in charge of dealing with
this
Linking Words

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problem.
Firstly
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, children easily get affected by their
educative
Suggestion
educational
environment. They are not old enough to know what is right and what is wrong.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a boy can copy his bad friends to smoke, which leads him to some respiratory illnesses.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, regulations in schools have troubles. The time
getting
Suggestion
is getting
to get
started
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

period is too early for students to get to
schools
Suggestion
school
on time.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, students usually get drowsy in classes and do not focus on lessons. Not only does it have influence on their knowledge, but leads them to an
unhealthiness
Suggestion
unhealthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. To sum up, both parents and schools contribute to build
children’s
Suggestion
a children’s lifestyle
lifestyle
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Leading the young to
wholesome
Suggestion
a wholesome lifestyle
lifestyle
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

helps them not just to raise their awareness of health but shape their future life.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unhealthy lifestyle
  • growing concern
  • crucial role
  • addressing this issue
  • promote healthy habits
  • educational programs
  • physical activities
  • establish healthy routines
  • nutritious meals
  • collaboration
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