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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation cause? What are the possible solutions?

#people #career #life #time #situation
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Many try to have success at
work
 and spend enough
time
 with their family. The main problem
this
 causes is exhausting and the most viable solution is a public awareness campaign warning people about the dangers of working too hard. The principal problem associated with trying to spend
time
 with your loved ones and be a success in your career is people tend to burn out. Burnout is when people are both mentally and physically tired to the point that they can no longer continue. The result of
this
 is often physical and mental health problems, which in turn can cause the breakdown of a family or poor performance at
work
.
For example
, a recent government survey found that 82% of CEOs felt they did not spend enough quality
time
 with their children because they often felt too tired when they returned home. To tackle
this
 problem the government should launch a publicity campaign in the media and in schools to educate people about the dangers of working long hours and not spending enough
time
 with your kin. Many people are afraid to ask their boss for
time
 off
work
 because of the stigma surrounding people who
work
 less hours than normal and they might
also
 feel like they can't talk to their family about
this
 issue. An awareness campaign could shed some light on
this
 difficult situation and allow people to be more open and honest about it.
For example
, a similar initiative in Japan resulted in a 52% decrease in people calling in sick to
work
 because of mental fatigue. In conclusion, striking the right balance between home life and working life is a major issue that can result in people working themselves so hard that they can't perform either role,
however
 it can be addressed through educating people about the dangers.
Submitted by shirdi.sai on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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