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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation cause? What are the possible solutions?

#people #career #life #time #situation
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Many try to have success at
work
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 and want to spend time with their loved ones. The main
problem
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this
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 cause is exhausting and most viable solution of
this
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problem
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 is public awareness warning people about the dangers of working too hard. The principal
problem
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 associated with trying to spend time with your loved ones and be a success in your career is people tend to get exhausted.
This
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 exhaustion occurs when people both mentally and physically tired to
such
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 an extent that they no longer continue. The result of
this
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 is often physical and mental health problems, which in turn can cause the breakdown of a family or poor performance at
work
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.
For example
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, a recent government survey found that 323 CEO’s felt they
do not spend
Suggestion
did not spend
were not spending
 enough quality time with their children because they often felt too tired when they returned home. To tackle
this
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problem
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 government should launch a publicity campaign in the media and in schools to educate people about
dangers
Suggestion
the dangers
 of working too hard. Many people are afraid to ask their boss for
work
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 off due to
stigma
Suggestion
the stigma
 surrounding people who
work
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 less than the normal working hours and many people do not disclose
this
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problem
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 in front of their family.
This
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 public awareness campaign could shed some light on
this
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 difficult situation and allow people to be more open and honest about it.
For example
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, a similar initiative in Japan resulted in 23 decreases in people calling in sick to
work
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 because of mental fatigue. In conclusion, striking balance between
work
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 and family is a major issue that can result in people working themselves so hard that they can’t perform either role,
however
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 it can be addressed through educating people about the dangers.
Submitted by shirdi.sai on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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