Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #money #factor #happiness

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Happiness

Use synonyms

is one of the most precious goals to be achieved. People may differ in how defines

happiness

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. Some people may consider

happiness

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depends on presence of money. The more money you have, the happier you are.

However

Linking Words

, others have different points of view regarding how to be happy. Money can facilitate our lives by offering a good standard of life in many aspects. You can have all the fundamental needs like education, housing and good health services.

Furthermore

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, you can live with more luxury and joy.

For example

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, you can buy luxury cars and visit all the countries you wish.

In addition

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to making your own dreams come true, you will be able to help your family and friends to make them live

more comfortable

Suggestion

more comfortably

However

Linking Words

, availability of all the aforementioned subjects are not equal to real

happiness

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. Some people are extremely rich and they do not

live

go away from a place

leave

a single happy day.

For example

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, me as a mother, the

happiness

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for me is equal to my daughters. Having kids, taking care of them and raising them to be good, happy and successful ones is a real joy.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, a student may consider graduation and having a good job is the

happiness

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and a single girl may see the marriage is the

happiness

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Accept space

etc

continuing in the same way

etc.

. In conclusion, how to see

happiness

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is varied between people. Some people consider money is the backbone of

happiness

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while others are living happy depending on different subjects. In my opinion, regardless of the difference in our definition of

happiness

Use synonyms

, we have to do our best to live

happy

Suggestion

happily

Submitted by e.alslais on Sun Sep 01 2019

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

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These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Over recent years, mobile phones have become an indispensable tool in our daily lives. However, there are several problems such as social and medical which must not be ignored. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

Over time, as children grow older, the relationship they have with their parents changes. In your opinion, what role should parents have in their adult children’s lives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.