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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the goverment should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource , while others it should not be regulated. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion

#people #goverment #control #water #resource
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There is no denying the fact that
people
 believe that constraints should be applied on the use of
water
,
While
 it is a commonly held belief that the government has to be strict regarding following specific usage regulations, there is
also
 an argument that opposes it. There are arguments on both sides,
however
, which we will discuss here.
To begin
 with,
water
 is the only drink that all creatures on earth use whether they are
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 or animals, rich or poor, sick or well.
Furthermore
,it might be said that
water
 is one of the earth's finite resources and there is a future worry that
people
 will die out of thirst.
This
 could be attributed to
people
's lack of awareness and false attitudes.
For example
, during morning baths, individuals tend to keep the
water
 running
while
 they are engaged in washing up and shaving.
Moreover
, schools, hospitals, and other social institutions do not educate their pupils on how to treat
water
 as a valuable beverage.
Finally
, these kinds of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 could lead to devastating environmental phenomena.
On the other hand
, A practical solution for
this
 problem might be paying fines and raising the
water
 consumption fees. Following that, it is important to mention that if the country regulates the use of
water
, it is the poor ones who will mainly suffer.
In addition
,
this
 will not guide the citizens on how to benefit from
water
 wisely,In
instead
 they will keep wasting it disruptively. In conclusion, despite
people
 having different views, I strongly believe
water
 is limited and nations should come up with logical solutions and serious punishments to protect it.
Submitted by the.majesty2011 on

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task achievement
To improve your task response, consider providing more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and add weight to your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your introduction to make it clearer and more engaging. Your thesis statement is good, but a slightly more concise and focused opening could improve the overall impact.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your arguments.
task achievement
You've successfully presented both sides of the argument and provided a balanced discussion before stating your own opinion. This shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clearly expressed and your language is generally accurate, which contributes to the clarity and effectiveness of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resource
  • strictly control
  • government regulation
  • manage
  • allocate
  • responsibly
  • sustainable
  • water scarcity
  • water conservation
  • equitable distribution
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