IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

With the increasing number of people travelling, there is a growing demand for more flights. What problems does this have on environment? What can be done to solve the problem?

#people #demand #flights #environment
Nowadays, travelling from one place to another is becoming rampant, either
as a result
 of consistent migration of people for various reasons or due to seeking of pleasure as well as for business purposes. The rise in the quantity of people travelling have resulted in the increased need for more flights.
This
 essay will examine the possible effects which
this
 can have on the
environment
 and discuss the probable solutions to it.
Firstly
, one of the problems associated with flights is its detrimental effects on the
environment
.
End products
Suggestion
The end products
 of combustion from
aviation automobiles
Accept comma addition
aviation, automobiles
such
 as fumes and chemicals are continually being emptied into the sea and oceans.
This
Accept comma addition
Thus, as
Thus as
as a result
, leads to air pollution and causes depletion of the ozone layer which can
consequently
 be a hazard, as global warming is imminent. A
study which
Accept comma addition
study, which
 was carried out recently revealed that chemical wastes generated from the aviation sector accounted for about 5% of the causes of water pollution which destroys the aquatic habitats.
However
, there are lots of
solution
Suggestion
solutions
 to
this
. The
government
 should enact stricter laws to protect the
environment
 and make sure they are duly adhered to. Airlines that offend
this
 rule should be given a grave penalty to show
government's commitment
Suggestion
the government's commitment
. Individuals should
also
 support the actions of the
government
 by paying their dues and taxes. In conclusion, individuals, aviation industries, and
government
, all have a role to play in protecting the
environment
.
This
 essay has discussed the effects of increased travelling rates on
nature
Suggestion
the nature
 and possible solutions to eliminate these harmful effects. It is recommended that people are encouraged to travel
lesser unless
Accept comma addition
lesser, unless
 it is really important in order to conserve our
environment
.
Submitted by ameeratmobolaji on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: