In today's world, many people spend increasingly less time in their homes. what are the reasons for this? What are the effects of this trend on individuals and society?

#world #people #time #homes #effects #trend #individuals #society

The concept of a community being on the outside mostly compared to at

home

is an incident that happens a lot. Everybody has a purpose of going out of their

home

. Yet

people

's balance is not stabilized staying at

home

This

essay will explore how

this

can affect and why

this

might be. The primary reason for

this

occasion is when

people

go out like to walk with their dog, commit to work or go to the grocery shop fresh air falls with oxygen which gives a feeling of happiness.

Secondly

, variance in feelings of community is related to how an individual relates to the community surrounding them,

as well as

their sense of self. Another reason is that airfare prices today are lower than in the past. In those days, only rich

people

could travel to another country, but now even students can afford to study and live in foreign countries, which means that most of us do not spend

time

home

. Perhaps more

people

want to be at

home

and spend

time

with their family but it is needed to work for their career. The effects of

this

inclination on individuals and society eventually in the process of training and working we face problematic situations

such

as increased levels of exhaustion or harries. But the effects on society have become fairly positive. If we ask grandparents, they will say that most

people

have lived in an isolated way. We have a chance to chat or meet new

people

all the

time

This

has given us a chance to create a rich culture.

To conclude

however

, we spend less

time

home

to improve ourselves, and

this

has resulted in positive or negative effects

Submitted by shahobhozratkulov on Fri Dec 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay should have a more coherent structure with clear introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions that are distinct from each other. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and a clear progression of thoughts.

coherence cohesion

Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas and paragraphs. Consider using transitional phrases to help the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task and provide a clear position throughout the response. Make sure your essay answers both questions: the reasons for spending less time at home and the effects of this trend.

task achievement

Develop your ideas fully and extend your support with specific examples. Each main point should be elaborated on with clear explanations or illustrations.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In today's world, many people spend increasingly less time in their homes. what are the reasons for this? What are the effects of this trend on individuals and society?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Today, people sleep less than they used to in the past. What is the reason for this? What are the effects on individuals and people around them?

Some people believe that the government should support the funds for the arts, while some other people suggest that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe women are better leaders than men. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.