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Band 4.5

The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

#education #school
Children who have not attained the
age
 of
sixteen
 should not be allowed leave
school
 and engage themselves in full
time
 employment.
This
 is a very good initiative. People believe that children who have not celebrated their sixteenth birthday are not mature enough to handle full
time
 jobs. Some jobs
maybe
Suggestion
may be
 physically demanding while others may require critical thinking, problem solving and analytical skills. The
child
's brain is not able to handle complex processes at
such
 tender
age
.
Furthermore
, below is the
age
 of
sixteen
 is when children are able to learn skills they will need
through-out
all the way through
throughout
 their
life-
the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death)
lifetime
lifetimes
time
 and being in
school
 provides that opportunity. In
school
, they are taught different numerical
,
Accept space
,
quanitative
expressible as a quantity or relating to or susceptible of measurement
quantitative
 and verbal reasoning, learning how to work in a team as they are enrolled in different
playgroups
.
Also
, they learn interpersonal and communication skills.
Lastly
, in the case of full
time
 jobs
that is
physical
Suggestion
physically
 demanding, the bones of children less than
sixteen
 are not strong enough to handle
such
 tasks. It is believed that bones of children fully mature once they cross the
age
 of
sixteen
.
This
 reduces the risk of
child
 spraining his or her ankle while on the job which affects productivity and ultimately affect the bottom line of the company. In conclusion, a
child
 can be considered for full
time
 work from the
child
's seventeenth
birthday but
Accept comma addition
birthday, but
 before
then
, it is imperative not to be allowed to leave
school
Suggestion
the school
 where the building blocks of their life is being moulded where they can be useful to themselves and the society.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • savings
  • investing
  • tax obligations
  • retirement planning
  • loans
  • credit
  • interest rates
  • crowded curricula
  • traditional academic subjects
  • real-life experiences
  • parental guidance
  • practical
  • intellectually rigorous
  • school syllabus
  • gig economy
  • income-streams
  • challenging
  • trained teachers
  • specialized field
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