IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people claim that many things that children are taught at school are a waste of time. Other people argue that everything that children study at school is useful at sometime. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #waste #time #study
Some people in the
society state
Accept comma addition
society, state
 that the knowledge and skills developed by children taught process are completely squandered at the time of their
education
. While, others disagree with
this
 statement by saying that the way of thinking is pivotal to their higher
education
 which helps them in future.
This
 essay intends to analyse both perspectives. Personally, I think every lesson we learnt from our
school
 is a foundation to our vocation. Nowadays, there are
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of extracurricular activities in the
school
 curriculum that include sports and cultural activities. Because of these, students
are not only involving
Suggestion
are not only involved
do not only involve
will not only be involved
 in
lectures but
Accept comma addition
lectures, but
also
 participating in those events. Owing to all, these are responsible
to
Suggestion
for
 increasing the knowledge and thinking abilities of the children. But in some educational institutions, they are only preferring sports
ratherthan
Suggestion
rather than
 studies which causing
lot
Suggestion
a lot
 of time wasting for them.
On the other hand
, everything that children studied from the
school
 are useful to them in their academics.
Furthermore
, if we want to compete with
this
 global
education
, our ideas that gained from our knowledge are very important.
For instance
, in certain educational institutions, it is necessary to complete aptitude and reasoning courses from secondary
education
onwards which
Accept comma addition
onwards, which
 helps them to achieve good scores in any competitive exams. To sum up with, I reiterate my statement by saying that each and every concept that children studied in the
school
 are useful to developing the way of approach to any situation
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by rajeshkamma999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: