IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In order to solve traffic problems, governments should tax private car owners heavily and use the money to improve public transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such a solution?

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Traffic congestion has always been a challenging
dlenma
Correct your spelling
dilemma
 of the modern world these days.
Therefore
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, there is an opinion that the government should enact a law requiring
people
Use synonyms
 who own cars to pay a high tax so that money can be used to enhance public facilities. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of
this
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 method. One of the first benefits of
such
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 a measure is that fewer vehicles will appear on the road, as it is expensive for drivers to use cars.
Hence
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, there is a small amount of emission emitted into the environment, leading to an improvement in air quality. Another point in
favor
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favour
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 of
this
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 practice is that the standard of public transportation can be increased. Specifically, if the authority focuses on public transit,
people
Use synonyms
 can enjoy high-quality service.
For instance
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, countries like China or Japan have superior electric trains, which are convenient for citizen’s travel.
However
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, there are several drawbacks to
this
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 solution. First of all,
people
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 still have to pay a huge amount of taxes. In fact, there are already other taxes for citizens to pay, so
further
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 taxes would mean less money to use.
Moreover
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, public transport is not as fast as driving;
thus
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, when
people
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 are in a hurry or in some emergency cases, they will probably choose to drive a car, even with the high tax.
For example
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, in America,
although
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 the facilities there use the latest technology, a large number of
people
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 still drive cars to travel because it takes less time. In conclusion, there are both advantages and disadvantages to
this
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 method so governments should spend
times
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time
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 researching more about
this
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 policy.

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task response
To improve task response, make sure to address both advantages and disadvantages equally in detail. Your essay slightly favors the advantages more, so balancing this would provide a more comprehensive answer.
task response
While your ideas are clear, they could be more developed. Try to elaborate further on each point to provide more depth and make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay has a logical structure, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. This can be achieved by using more transitional phrases and connecting words to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider defining terms like 'emissions' and 'public transportation' more clearly and specifically to strengthen your points and make your essay more precise.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear start and end to your argument. This helps in guiding the reader through your essay effectively.
task response
Your essay includes relevant and specific examples, such as mentioning China and Japan. This demonstrates your knowledge and supports your arguments well.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traffic congestion
  • Emissions
  • Revenue generation
  • Public dissatisfaction
  • Political issues
  • Financial burden
  • Environmental benefits
  • Efficiency and accessibility
  • Taxation
  • Heavily taxing
  • Private car owners
  • Fund improvements
  • Discourage the use
  • Healthier environment
  • Public transport quality
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