IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that government should not put money on building theatres and sport stadium. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #government #money #theatres #sport #stadium #care #education
It is often argued that governments should invest more funds for building hospitals and schools rather than spending
money
 on creating facilities for sports and art. In my opinion, both are vital aspects of human development, and equal budget should be allocated to them.
To begin
 with, It is irrefutable that education and medical care are
first
 and foremost things authorities should provide to the people.
In other words
, health care is a basic amenity that should be provided to everyone because many people cannot afford it.
Similarly
, education is a must for the prosperity of a nation.
Thus
, by investing
money
 on building new colleges or universities, bureaucrats can easily promote awareness and motivate the young generation towards it. On contrary, art and sports drives culture, fitness, and health of the people.
Firstly
, cinema enhances integrity of a nation as it brings people together.
Secondly
, by building new sports stadiums, government can increase interest of people in sports. A research done by the students of the University of Michigan revealed that sporting culture keeps people away from smoking and taking drugs. So people who argue that spending
money
 on building theatres and sports stadium is a waste, are being selfish, and are ignoring pivotal aspects of its impact on social development of a country. In conclusion, government should put
money
 on all of them, be it education, medical care, building theatres, and new sports stadiums because they all contributes in economic and social development of the nation.
Submitted by neerajgargaugust19 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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