Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While some people believe that adolescence should be
encouraged
Suggestion
encouraging
encourage
their competitive
spirit
, Others think that it is better for them to be taught about cooperation so they can become benevolent in their adult
life
. In my view, It is true that children should be given about
spirit
Suggestion
the spirit
of competition so they can survive in real
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
I
also
argue that working together is important too because we are social creature that can not
life
Suggestion
live
without
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
person help. In
this
essay, I will explain both views using examples to support the arguments and demonstrate some points.
Life
is hard and because of that we must make sure that our children have
spirit
Suggestion
a spirit
the spirit
of competitiveness so they can survive in
this
life
.
For example
:
Accept space
:
In Indonesia, many parents want their children
go
Suggestion
to go
to the
favorite
something regarded with special favor or liking
favourite
school. It is because they
want their children have
Suggestion
want their children to have
bright future
Suggestion
a bright future
bright futures
. Unfortunately, the allocation is limited. Because of
this
reason, many children are taught to become the best student among their friend.
Therefore
, many families not only give their heir fascinating
facilites
a building or place that provides a particular service or is used for a particular industry
facilities
that support their
study but
Accept comma addition
study, but
also
give them motivation to become
valedocterian
Suggestion
valedictorian
in their communities. I do not overlook the other side too. In my view, I completely believe that soft skill
such
as interaction and relationship important too. It is because we can not
life
Suggestion
live
without
help
Suggestion
the help
of each other.
For example
:
Accept space
:
we need mechanic to fix our
enginering
the practical application of science to commerce or industry
engineering
issues in our vehicle. It means that we
can not
can not
cannot
accomplish many things by our self.
Therefore we
Accept comma addition
Therefore, we
need aid for someone else to help us. In conclusion, I
am convince
Suggestion
am convinced
that children should be encouraged about
spirit
Suggestion
the spirit
a spirit
of
competitivenes
an aggressive willingness to compete
competitiveness
in order to survive in
this
life
. But in other side, I believe that cooperation is
important thing
Suggestion
an important thing
to be taught because we consider that we are human beings that can not
life
Suggestion
live
without other people's aid.
Submitted by imammagnific on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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