IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people believe that in order for a hobby to be enjoyable, it needs to be difficult in some way do you agree or disagree.

#people #hobby
On one hand, some people believe that, challenging the body or their
mind
 able to get excited as a matter
of
Suggestion
about
by
, They spend their free time on exciting activities rather than enjoyable things.
For instance
, some keen to try tough
activites
any specific behavior
activities
 like Bungee jumping, fast driving, Parachuting, water diving and boating. These activities stimulate the
stress
 on their bodies so that, Extraordinary hormones will produce
body
Suggestion
a body
 because of
stress
, at the same time, They feel the spirit of their a body and
mind
 after
this
 target will achieved by them.
On the other hand
, Who argues that relaxing activity and
decreaesing
becoming less or smaller
decreasing
stress
Suggestion
Stress
 are consider from
having
any place of complete bliss and delight and peace
heaven
Heaven
a
Suggestion
A
 simple hobbies. People spent
a
Suggestion
A
 lot of time for
achieve
Suggestion
achieving
 their day
today
Suggestion
to day
life even
Accept comma addition
life, even
 though, If they feel free at that moment, most of the people prefer to
do
Suggestion
Do
 normal things
such
 as
watching
Suggestion
Watching
 tv, Singing, walking, dancing and collecting stamps
..
Accept space
..
 Etc. These activities will help not only to reduce their
stress but
Accept comma addition
stress, but
also
 improving their health and their
mind
. Reading books
provide
Suggestion
Provide
 better knowledge and relaxing their
mind
. To the best of my knowledge, people focus on doing relaxing hobbies obviously, They tolerate to live in modern speed life in order to avoid the risk activities maybe help to reduce unexpected accident.
Submitted by saranga.saru2014 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of accomplishment
  • overcoming obstacles
  • gratifying
  • continuous source of enjoyment
  • relaxing activities
  • unwind and de-stress
  • counterproductive
  • mental break
  • subjective
  • personal preference
What to do next:
Look at other essays: