More and more prisons are being built to house the world's criminals, and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that psychological assistance is what is required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#prisons #house #world #criminals #people #imprisonment #crime #assistance

Many prisons are built these days to keep criminals for their whole life. Some would argue that to curb

further

crimes, the offender should be detained in jail for the rest of their life,

while

others say that psychological treatment is needed. Long-term

imprisonment

is the answer to dealing with criminals but I believe proper psychological methods will be a better solution to deal with criminal

rates

. On the one hand, applying psychological lessons for

prisoners

to help them solve their problems without causing any harm to the public. Juvenile crimes are rising so

this

method is necessary for them so they can learn how to behave and become a good person. With the psychological assistant's help, teenagers can realize the problems they are having and gently ask for help if they cannot handle their own without causing any damage to society. For those

prisoners

who regret the crime that they committed and want to live a good life again, psychological guidance will help them learn from their mistakes in the past and improve themselves to be better in the future.

This

solution significantly reduces criminal

rates

On the other hand

, psychological assistance is needed for

prisoners

willing to fix what they have done in the past but for

prisoners

who have committed serious crimes

such

as murder, rape, assault, child abuse, and human trafficking,.. without no regret what they have done. Long-term

imprisonment

is suitable for them to protect society because if we let them out without awareness of their action can cause more violence and chaos in the community.

However

, long-term

imprisonment

is not the best measure to decrease criminal

rates

. In conclusion, long-term

imprisonment

is only suitable for those who do not regret their action and psychological measures are a more effective way to deal with the crime

rates

in the future.

Submitted by ducanhh0911 on Thu Dec 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Support main points with specific examples or explanations. These examples should be detailed and directly relevant to the argument you are making. Avoid general statements that don't illustrate your point clearly.

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Fully address all elements of the task. Ensure that you discuss both views presented in the prompt and your own opinion. Your opinion should be clear and consistent throughout the essay.

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days, in many countries fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

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Our personalities are pre-determined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree?