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Band 2.5

Some people think that the most important thing the rich can do with his money is to help people. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #money
Money
 is very crucial thing as well
as, everyone can
Suggestion
, as everyone can
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their basic needs. Some people think that rich people have a great power because they have more
money
. I agree with
this
 statement.
To
Suggestion
Two
 began with, everyone cannot buy happiness when they have
money
.
However
, poor people have to face many problems because they are unable to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their families basic needs.
Secondly when
Accept comma addition
Secondly, when
 they commit crimes so with the power of
money
 they can
easy
Suggestion
easily
 to
safe
save from ruin, destruction, or harm
save
 their life and poor people have always
suffer
Suggestion
suffered
 that type of problems. Sometime people have a lot of
money
on
Suggestion
at
in
for
 that time some people have a kind heart. So they can help the poor people and invest their
money
 to improve the education system.
This
 surgery was carried in
US
Suggestion
the US
 approximately 80% people like to help the poor people To conclude,
although
 everyone
donot have
Suggestion
does not have
do not have
 enough
money but
Accept comma addition
money, but
 those persons who have a lot of
money
 they can easy to spend
laxurary
something that is an indulgence rather than a necessity
luxury
 lifestyle.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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