Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern society, some
people
Use synonyms
believe that the main environmental problems of our time are the
loss
Use synonyms
of
species
Use synonyms
of
plants
Use synonyms
and
animals
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
other
people
Use synonyms
argue that there are more important environmental problems. In my opinion, I personally believe that there are more critical
issues
Use synonyms
than the
loss
Use synonyms
of
species
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, I agree that the extinction of
plants
Use synonyms
and
animals
Use synonyms
is the most serious environmental issue. In fact,
plants
Use synonyms
and
animals
Use synonyms
are interrelated,
therefore
Linking Words
the
loss
Use synonyms
of one
species
Use synonyms
can lead to the
loss
Use synonyms
of other
species
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if
plants
Use synonyms
died
Wrong verb form
die
show examples
, many of the herbivores that feed off it will
also
Linking Words
die,
while
Linking Words
many carnivores will die because of the
dead
Replace the word
death
show examples
of herbivores.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
loss
Use synonyms
of
species
Use synonyms
will reduce biodiversity. Biodiversity is important because certain
species
Use synonyms
have important applications in medicine and chemical industries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
consider that there are more serious environmental
issues
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as water
pollution
Use synonyms
,
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
and the effect of climate
changed
Replace the word
change
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
have respiratory disease in China because of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
. Statistics
indicated
Wrong verb form
indicate
show examples
that more than 13
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
people
Use synonyms
died
Wrong verb form
die
show examples
each year because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, global warming is a serious environmental issue, if the earth continues to experience rising, it will start to become uninhabitable for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, especially for
marines’
Change noun form
marines
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
. By way of conclusion, I personally believe that there are more important environmental
issues
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
and global warming,
although
Linking Words
the
loss
Use synonyms
of
species
Use synonyms
of
plants
Use synonyms
and
animals
Use synonyms
is the most serious environmental
Use synonyms
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Content
The essay demonstrates confusion in the personal stand. The statement 'In my opinion, I personally believe that there are more critical issues than the loss of species.' contradicts later when the writer calls species loss 'the most serious environmental issues.'
Development
The ideas presented in some instances are not developed fully. For example, 'Biodiversity is important because certain species have important applications in medicine and chemical industries.' could have been further explained.
Grammar
'Effect of climate changed' needs to be revised to 'effects of climate change'. Check grammar carefully.
Sentence Construction
'it will start to become uninhabitable for human, especially for marines’ animals.' - this sentence structure is incorrect. Try revising sentences for management of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: