Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #technology

Whether or not modern

technology

has

make

Suggestion

made

individuals willing to talk and do activities with other people is now a debate. While some people argue that it has

improves

Suggestion

improved

the social life of individuals, others disagree. In my opinion,

although

advancements in

technology

bring benefits, they have brought unwillingness of people to socialize physically because of addiction to devices, especially TV and computers. On one hand, some individuals believe that in

this

new century, improvements in

technology

, mainly computers have

make

Suggestion

made

people more sociable.

In other words

, there is a desire to relate

with

Suggestion

individuals irrespective of race mainly because there is an opportunity to connect globally. Computers

such

as laptops, and smartphones are commonly used to communicate with people worldwide.

As a result

, there are positive opportunities, particularly employment, marriage proposal and business, as well as

sharing

Suggestion

values with people without fear of inferiority complex or competition.

On the other hand

, there are some other people who argue that growth in

technology

is now making individuals, mostly young adults, less sociable, and I agree with

this

This

as a result

of people getting addicted to technological devices

such

as TV and computers, and they no longer have interest in face to face social events around them.

For instance

, a survey done by

Modern

Suggestion

the Modern Technology Management

Technology

Management, in 2018, showed that 90% of young adults do not attend both family and friends party, rather they are at home using gadgets. For

this

reason, there is an alert on the increase in the rate of health issues

such

as migraine, eye problems and depression from constant use of technological devices and no physical relationship with people. In conclusion, even though

technology

improvements have

boost

Suggestion

boosted

morals of people and given opportunities to them, the addiction of people to these devices has a huge effect on relationships and health. If awareness and caution on when and how to use technological devices are not taken

serious

Suggestion

seriously

, there will be

increase

Suggestion

an increase

in health problems.

Submitted by bolud.akinyemi on Fri Sep 20 2019

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

online marketplaces
mobile payment options
personalized advertising
accessibility
compare prices
decision fatigue
impulse buying
financial imprudence
privacy and data security
transformed
streamlined
user-friendly

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