IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

#crimes #year #think #death #penalty #deterrent #people #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the years, there has been a tremendous increase in the rate at which criminal activities are being infiltrated.
Although
Linking Words
 it is believed by some people that the ultimate
penalty
Use synonyms
 for
such
Linking Words
 offences should be
death
Use synonyms
, others think that the
government
Use synonyms
 should inculcate other means of punishment. In my opinion, I agree with the former assertion as
this
Linking Words
 would help put criminals in check. On the one hand, it is believed that a
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 should be awarded to all offenders because it will reduce criminal activities and I agree.
This
Linking Words
 is because it will limit the number of
such
Linking Words
 crimes being committed.
Also
Linking Words
, punishments like
this
Linking Words
 will serve as a warning to other intending perpetrators to desist from
such
Linking Words
 practices. To illustrate, ever since the Iraqi
government
Use synonyms
 slated the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 for all crimes, the crime rate dropped from fifty percent to fifteen per cent within a space of two years.
This
Linking Words
 reemphasizes the need for
such
Linking Words
 laws in order to maintain peace in the land.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should have a fairer system
such
Linking Words
 as the rehabilitation of criminals as not all criminals deserve to be killed. Community services, rehabilitating criminals are few methods that the state can uphold in order to punish them.
This
Linking Words
 not only helps foster a more balanced judiciary system, but
also
Linking Words
 goes a long way in reforming the offenders and getting back on their feet. A good example of
such
Linking Words
 measures is the introduction of community services for milder offences by the Lagos State
government
Use synonyms
. Not only did
this
Linking Words
 help keep the state sane, but it
also
Linking Words
 helped in rebuilding the lives of
such
Linking Words
 criminals. To conclude, while it is advised by some to give a more lenient punishment for certain crimes, it is highly essential to award a
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 as
this
Linking Words
 will help reduce the crime rate. I,
therefore
Linking Words
, believe that the reward for all crimes should be
death
Use synonyms
, as
this
Linking Words
 will help breed a safer community devoid of crime and offenders.
Submitted by Mabel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation
  • ethical considerations
  • economic factors
  • social factors
  • community policing
  • public opinion
  • recidivism rates
  • community-driven initiatives
  • modern policing methods
  • death penalty
  • serious crimes
  • crime rates
What to do next:
Look at other essays: