IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some believe sports at schools should be compulsory, while others think that it is a waste of time. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

While
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 it is commonly thought that teaching
sports
Use synonyms
 at
schools
Use synonyms
 should be compulsory, others believe that it is a waste of time. I'm going to discuss these opposing points of view. In my opinion,
sports
Use synonyms
 should be
necessity
Correct article usage
a necessity
show examples
 in
schools
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, it is argued that it is essential for
students
Use synonyms
 to learn and do
sports
Use synonyms
 at school. The main reason is that doing
sports
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 benefits
students
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' agility, stamina, and significantly improves their fitness. It is
also
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 possible to say that doing
sports
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such
Linking Words
 as football or basketball will develop the ability to work in a team.
For example
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, studies show that over 90% of the
students
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 who do
sports
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 regularly in
schools
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 have a good physique and achieve high grades in classes. Another reason is that doing
sports
Use synonyms
 at school may potentially discover the talents of some individuals in a specific sport.
As a result
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, they will have more decisions in their future.
On the other hand
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, it is strongly believed by others that it is useless to teach
sports
Use synonyms
 to children
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
schools
Use synonyms
. People often have
this
Linking Words
 opinion because
schools
Use synonyms
 should focus on teaching knowledge in multiple fields, which benefits
students
Use synonyms
 when they apply for a job. A second point is that there are lots of
sports
Use synonyms
 centres where young individuals can be trained by professionals;
as a result
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, there is no need for
schools
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 to have
sports
Use synonyms
 included in their curriculum. In conclusion, it is commonly thought that
sports
Use synonyms
 should be crucial in
schools
Use synonyms
; meanwhile, others assume that doing
sports
Use synonyms
 in
schools
Use synonyms
 is a waste of time. Personally, I tend to believe that
schools
Use synonyms
 should include
sports
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your opinion in the introduction. Use stronger statements to show your belief.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to help the reader follow your ideas better.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points in each paragraph. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument well, which shows good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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