IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientists? Do you agree or disagree? Support with reasons and examples from your own experience

#people #entertainers #scientists #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people consider movie stars and other eminent celebrities more valuable than scientists. To them, these personalities are contributing more to the society. But, I opine that their perspective is completely wrong as scientists can provide us with various innovations that can make our life comfortable.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, inventions like mobile phones has changed the way we used to communicate in the past. Around 2 decades ago, only letters were used to get information about relatives living in far places. But now, within a fraction of seconds, one can make a call to anybody living in any part of the globe.To exemplify, I can easily talk to my siblings living in Canada.All
this
Linking Words
 is possible because of inventors. They have lessened the distance and increased the bonding between family members. Contrary to
this
Linking Words
, famous personalities relating to glamour industry are often followed by fans.As their image is projected as of a hero on the screen, people start preaching them. Behind the screens they are entertaining masses, but in reality, these stars are way too different.For an instance, Lady Gaga, who has around 3 million followers on Instagram, is often seen consuming sedative substances, using abusive language. She is actually misleading youngsters. To conclude, it is clear that scientists are making our lives more peaceful and enjoyable. Without their inventions, we cannot even think of our survival and
on the other hand
Linking Words
, people associated with entertainment world are setting a bad example for the youth.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we must value people relating to world of innovations and respect them.
Submitted by harsimarkaur4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: