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Band 5

The only way to improve safety of our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#safety #roads #punishments #offences
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The only way to improve
safety
Suggestion
the safety
 of our roads is to give much stricter
punishments
Suggestion
punishment
on
Suggestion
for
 driving
offenses
a lack of politeness; a failure to show regard for others; wounding the feelings or others
offences
. What extent do you agree or disagree? People have different views on how to mitigate car accidences, and one of the most arguable notions is that governments should enact more stringent regulations to punish offenders that are relevant to driving crime. In my opinion, I just partly agree with
this
 argument. It is cannot be denied that
traffic
 accidents are causing various severe consequences for society, and in fact most of the accidents come from disobey
road
 regulation drivers, so stricter punishment
on
Suggestion
of
traffic
 law is considered as a vital solution for deterring those
road
 violators.
For instance
, in many countries drunk drivers could be charged up-
to
being one more than one
two
 thousand of dollars or
event
the latter part of the day (the period of decreasing daylight from late afternoon until nightfall)
even
 detained for a few days in jail and prohibited to drive
car
Suggestion
the car
a car
 for the determined period of time.
Therefore
, drivers in those nations become more and more aware of
traffic
 regulations and illustrate the improvement in the attitude of obeying law, because they know the severe outcomes of their risky conductions.
On the other hand
,
besides
 focusing on imposing harsher punishments, government should not neglect on other solutions to address
traffic accident issue
Suggestion
a traffic accident issue
traffic accident issues
.
Firstly
, educational option should be considered as a potential solution.
For example
, in Vietnam, Law enforcements
come
Suggestion
came
 to school in order to explain to
student
Suggestion
students
the student
a student
 about the likelihood that disobey
road
 regulation can cause to commuters the vast number of severe effects and consequences.
Secondly
, increasing legal driving age could contribute to
improvement
Suggestion
the improvement
 of
road
 safety. Maturity in controlling vehicles plays an integral part in controlling vehicle safely. In most countries, over 17 years-old teenagers can acquire a lawful driving license,
however
 the rate of causing
accident
Suggestion
an accident
the accident
 from youngster is likely higher than that from
adult
Suggestion
an adult
adults
.
Hence
, the older you
are the
Accept comma addition
are, the
 more awareness about safe drive you pay for. In conclusion,
the stricter
Suggestion
the strictest
the strict
 punishment can contribute to
improvement
Suggestion
the improvement
 of
safety
Suggestion
the safety
 of our
road
,
however
 the
others
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
 options could be considered as alternative solutions.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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