IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some businesses observe that people who just finished college have a hard time interacting with collegues in working as a team.What do you think is the reason behind this? What are your suggestions to address this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying that many new graduates face some problems at their companies after their university
life
Use synonyms
. Some challenges of being a part of the
team
Use synonyms
 can originate from weak communication
skills
Use synonyms
 and a lack of
sense
Use synonyms
 of
responsibility
Use synonyms
. To struggle with these problems,
this
Linking Words
 essay will give some pieces of advice.
Initially
Linking Words
, universities and schools provide many advantages to improve communication
skills
Use synonyms
 which would be effective in work-
life
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who do not develop their
skills
Use synonyms
 in their student lives will encounter challenges the teamwork in their careers. To solve
this
Linking Words
 problem,
students
Use synonyms
 should be encouraged to improve their verbal, written, and critical thinking
skills
Use synonyms
 by their teachers. Take an example, giving some tasks to
students
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as presentations, and discussing some topics to assist in improving their verbal
skills
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they will be more active in their career.
Secondly
Linking Words
, to gain a
sense
Use synonyms
 of
responsibility
Use synonyms
 brings many advantages to people. If they have some responsibilities in their education, daily or work
life
Use synonyms
 it provides a successful and confident people.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can undertake every single task in their working
team
Use synonyms
 and they can be more productive for their businesses. Developing a
responsibility
Use synonyms
sense
Use synonyms
 in children begins at home, and goes up at school.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when
students
Use synonyms
 take a step into their working
life
Use synonyms
 they can up in their
team
Use synonyms
 thanks to their early educations.
For example
Linking Words
, having a pet and being responsible for it provides many opportunities to develop a
sense
Use synonyms
 of
responsibility
Use synonyms
, with the most basic method. In conclusion, because of some weaknesses in their education
life
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 face some struggles with their colleagues on how to be a
team
Use synonyms
. Especially, working on gaining
responsibility
Use synonyms
 and improving communications
skills
Use synonyms
 are crucial for
students
Use synonyms
, personally. It bridges their working
life
Use synonyms
 and self-confidence.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay answers the prompt directly and fully, ensure each idea is expanded sufficiently with examples and explanations for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
To enhance cohesion, use more varied transitional phrases and avoid repetitive structures. This will make the essay's flow smoother.
task achievement
Ensure every main point is fully supported with relevant examples and detailed explanations. For instance, further develop how early responsibilities at home can prepare one for teamwork in a professional setting.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction provides a clear overview of what the essay will discuss and sets up the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion ties the essay together well, reinforcing the main points discussed.
task achievement
Your response addresses the prompt comprehensively, and you have included suggestions to solve the problem stated, which strengthens your task response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: