IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Environmental problems such as pollution and climatic variations are increasing nowadays. The governments have taken some measures at a global level. But they got only few solutions. Why is it so? How can this be solved?

#pollution #variations #governments #measures #level #be
Saving the
environment
 has become the top priority across the World. Problems like
pollution
 and climatic changes have been increasing rapidly over many years.
This
 has been a major threat in many of the countries to save, conserve and protect the climate. The government must ensure that citizens conserve the "Mother Earth" by minimizing
pollution
.
For instance
, India is a large democratic country where
people
 have different mindsets across the country and it is very difficult to control and monitor each individual on how to protect the habitat, which has found negative effects increasing
from
Change preposition
over
show examples
 many years.
Secondly
, even though the authority tries its best to implement many rules and policies,
people
 must strictly adhere to the instructions laid down by the government and follow
accordingly
Correct pronoun usage
them accordingly
show examples
.
Moreover
, these days
people
 have a careless attitude towards the
environment
 as they focus mainly on their needs and desires to fulfil their dreams. I feel the majority of them are least bothered to care about the
ill-effects
Correct your spelling
ill effects
show examples
 of rising
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
,
pollution
 which is
also
 a factor which leads to global warming. Media and social networking sites
also
 play a vital role in spreading awareness to control
pollution
 and climatic changes. The main reason for the climatic change is deforestation and it should be stopped
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I feel
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 penalty should be imposed on
people
 who use plastic and
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not dispose of the waste properly. The law should ensure and promote public transportation, which will gradually control
pollution
.
For instance
, celebs or
sportsman
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
show examples
 who is famous must step up and speak about the consequences of rising
pollution
 and climatic change, which will make
people
 understand the importance of saving the
environment
. They should
also
 suggest precautionary measures to conserve.
To sum up
, it can be seen why the steps so far have failed to protect the
environment
.
However
, every individual now must take
pro-active
Correct your spelling
proactive
show examples
 steps to save the
environment
.
Submitted by atmadeep.das on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Provide a more focused and specific response to the task prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: