IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many parts of the world, there is continuous coverage of sports on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion?

#parts #world #coverage #sports #television #people #part #sport
Nowadays, in many countries, there are plenty of television channels broadcasting live sports event,
therefore
, some people argue that
this
demotivated
 the juvenile to participate in sports. I completely agree with
this
 statement that it affects young people involve in sports because
this
 makes them lazy and wasting their valuable free
time
.
This
 essay will
first
 discuss how watching sports make them unwilling to play,
then
 it is wasting their spare
time
, followed by a reasoned conclusion. One of the main drawbacks of continuous coverage of sports in that
this
 is making teenager people lazy.
This
 is because adolescents are starting love to watch sports
instead
 of actually playing the games.
For example
, a recent study showed that in Bangladesh 85% of young people love to watch the live game,
in contrast
, only 10% of the teenager is playing the real game.
As a result
, sports coverages make
youth unwilling
Accept comma addition
youth, unwilling
 to play games. Another disadvantage of live telecast sports for the adolescent is that they spent their free
time
 watching games.
This
 is due to that young people are often under pressure for their study and their
time
 schedule are very limited.
if
Suggestion
If
 the watch sports in their spare
time
, they do not have ample
time
 to play.
Therefore
, I believe that sports channel discourages young people from taking part in sports. In conclusion, there are many
continuous
Suggestion
continuities
 telecasts of sports event on television.
This
 makes young people lazy to take part in sports and spending their free
time
 watching sports
instead
 of playing. It is recommended that a teenager should take more part in sports than watching it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: