In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In contemporary societies, the major segment of the population is immigrating from more rural areas to modern parts of the cities.
While
I adhere to the belief that
this
scheme has its own privileges, I can
also
consider it to be a two-edged sword since it is accompanied by some drawbacks. One of the most thriving reasons for moving into an urban location is the numerous job vacancies that are being taken by immigrants which benefits not only them but
also
the city governors.
Moreover
, many individuals who live in the suburbs have complained about the lack of recreational facilities in their neighbourhood which is no longer a problem once they move into the city;
therefore
, many of them are now filled with their status quo and are far less depressed. Take my aunt as an example; after moving into a flat in the city centre, she is now perceived to be much more joyful since she can keep busy with various leisure activities.
On the other hand
,
this
current trend can only exacerbate the current level of traffic congestion in the megacities.
Consequently
, the level of air and noise pollution will be higher than we have ever anticipated and when we reach that threshold, the pollution catastrophe can no longer be rectified.
Furthermore
, nowadays we are in desperate need of workers in agricultural fields the number of participants is drastically falling
due to
the fact that they are leaving their jobs for the allure of urban life. A recent study demonstrates that the number of current farmers is way below average which will cause inevitable difficulties in the near future. In a nutshell, even though I stated some positive aspects regarding relocating from the countryside into cities, I
also
consider the implication of
this
approach to be problematic to a certain extent. The reasons for my perception have been
further
elaborated in
this
essay.
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on

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general
Try to simplify language where possible to increase clarity and avoid overly complex phrasing that might obscure your point.
task response
Expand on specific examples that support each main point to provide more depth to your arguments.
task response
Consider providing a brief explanation or definition for terms like 'pollution catastrophe' to ensure all readers understand your intent.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The arguments are logically organized and support the overall thesis.
task response
The essay addresses both positive and negative aspects of the issue, providing a balanced view.
task response
Relevant and specific examples are provided to illustrate points, enhancing the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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