IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #technology #companies #data #exchange #access #software #outweigh
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UNDOUBTEBLY, PEOPL ARE BEING MORE CIURIOUS TO
USE
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 NEW TECHOLOGY. SOME FOLKS STARTED PROVIDING PERSONAL INFORMATIONS JUST TO GET AN
ACCESS
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 TO
APPLICATION
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. AS FAR AS I CAN SEE I BELIEVE THAT BENEFITS OF
THIS
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 NEVER OVERTAKE DRAWBACKS BECAUSE OF THE TRUTH, THAT AGENCIES CAN MISUSE THE PRVATE DETAILS OF AN INDIVIDUAL FOR THEIR PERSONAL BENEFITS. TO START WITH, BY ALLOWING
ACCESS
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 TO AN INFORMATIO
SUCH
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 AS EMAIL ADDRESS, CONTACT NUMBER, TO TECHNOLOGY COMPANY, PEOPLE CAN AHVE FULL RIGHTS TO
USE
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 THAT SOFTWARE FOR THEIR PRSONAL PLESURE.
THIS
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 CAN MAKE ONE'S LIFE IN DANGER OR WORSE. FOR AN EXAMPLE, IF I WANT TO
USE
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APPLICATION
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 LIKE SKYPE, OR A VIDEO CALLING SOFTWARE, I HAVE ALLOW THE
ACCESS
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 TO CAMERA AND PHOTOES.
THEN
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 I CAN
USE
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 IT TO COMMUNICATE WITH MY FAMILY BY MEANS OF VIDEOCALLING. BUT
THEN
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 SOME TIME COEPORATE PEOPLE CAN BREACH YOUR PRIVACY. ON THE OTHER SIDE, PEOPLE DEVELOP SOME
APPLICATION
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 JUST FOR MALICIOUS INTENTION. TO EXPLAN IT, THERE SOME FRAUDE
APPLICATION
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 WHICH ARE MADE TO CHEAT PEOPLE. FOR AN INSTANCE, ONE OF MY NEIGHBOR DOWNLOADED GAME APP IN WHICH HE ASKED TO ALLOW ON CAMERA AND PHOTOES, HE DID THAT, BUT AFTER FEW DAYS HE GOT BLACKMAILING CALL FOR 1 LAC RUPEES. SO SUE TO ALL
THIS
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 MAJOR DEMERITS IT IS NOT SAFE TO OPT AN
ACCESS
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 TO ANY UNTRUTED APP. TO CONCLUDE, IT IS TRUE THAT BY ALLOWING ONE CAN
USE
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 THE SOFTWARE FOR NUMEROUS IMPORTANT PURSPOSES BUT ESTABLISHMENT CAN
USE
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 IT IN A WRONG WAY.
THIS
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 IS WHY IT ADVISABLE TO
USE
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 IT WISELY.
Submitted by drsefalipatel on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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