Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

this

Linking Words

modern society, a lot of folks can access digital devices

such

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as computers, and

accordingly

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, the number of

children

Use synonyms

who like to play

game

Use synonyms

consoles has increased. Playing video

games

Use synonyms

can create creativity and higher concentration,

whereas

Linking Words

it may cause some health issues and worsen academic performance. Using

game

Use synonyms

consoles for leisure fosters creativity because young people can think strategically and figure out how to win battles in

games

Use synonyms

, using their imagination.

In addition

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this

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action might

also

Linking Words

enable them to concentrate on only one thing in the long term, as those devices have a great feature, where school

children

Use synonyms

can be readily obsessed with them without being forced.

For example

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, Smash Brothers from Nintendo requires you to come up with the best way to beat several opponents in consecutive battles, which generally takes more than two hours to complete the course in the

game

Use synonyms

On the other hand

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this

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technology may

also

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aggravate eyesight

as well as

Linking Words

hinder academic performance.

This

Linking Words

is attributed to these gadgets being so addictive that

children

Use synonyms

with little self-control would keep playing them endlessly, resulting in staring at a computer and a television for a long period of time, which can hurt one’s eyes.

Furthermore

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, the addiction can cause a reduction in time for studying

as a consequence

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. To illustrate

this

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, in Korea, 70% of school

children

Use synonyms

wear glasses , and the average score on the entrance exam for Seoul University has decreased. With

this

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situation, the government enforced a law to monitor all

game

Use synonyms

consoles that teen users have to prevent the youngsters from playing the

games

Use synonyms

after 10pm.

To sum up

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, there are a great number of technological gadgets, like computers, that individuals can reach out to, resulting in young folks spending a large amount of time on video

games

Use synonyms

. There are pros and cons to

this

Linking Words

phenomenon;

for instance

Linking Words

, some benefits are that they can become creative and that they can obtain higher concentration.

By contrast

Linking Words

, some detriments are damaging their eyes and negatively impacting their academic performance.

ryoji779

Aug 3, 2025

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Task Achievement

Make your introduction clearer by stating the main points you will discuss. This helps the reader know what to expect.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use linking words like 'first', 'second', and 'finally' to improve the flow between ideas.

Task Achievement

Add more examples to support your points, especially on how video games can improve concentration.

Task Achievement

You made good points about creativity and concentration as benefits of video games.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion nicely summarizes the main ideas of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive skills
strategic thinking
problem-solving
hand-eye coordination
fine motor skills
aggressive behavior
addictive qualities
physical activity
social isolation
interpersonal relationships

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Your opinion

Some people believe that online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion. 40 mins

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Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.