Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

this

Linking Words

modern society, a lot of folks can access digital devices

such

Linking Words

as computers, and

accordingly

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, the number of

children

Use synonyms

who like to play

game

Use synonyms

consoles has increased. Playing video

games

Use synonyms

can create creativity and higher concentration,

whereas

Linking Words

it may cause some health issues and worsen academic performance. Using

game

Use synonyms

consoles for leisure fosters creativity because young people can think strategically and figure out how to win battles in

games

Use synonyms

, using their imagination.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

action might

also

Linking Words

enable them to concentrate on only one thing in the long term, as those devices have a great feature, where school

children

Use synonyms

can be readily obsessed with them without being forced.

For example

Linking Words

, Smash Brothers from Nintendo requires you to come up with the best way to beat several opponents in consecutive battles, which generally takes more than two hours to complete the course in the

game

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

technology may

also

Linking Words

aggravate eyesight

as well as

Linking Words

hinder academic performance.

This

Linking Words

is attributed to these gadgets being so addictive that

children

Use synonyms

with little self-control would keep playing them endlessly, resulting in staring at a computer and a television for a long period of time, which can hurt one’s eyes.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the addiction can cause a reduction in time for studying

as a consequence

Linking Words

. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, in Korea, 70% of school

children

Use synonyms

wear glasses , and the average score on the entrance exam for Seoul University has decreased. With

this

Linking Words

situation, the government enforced a law to monitor all

game

Use synonyms

consoles that teen users have to prevent the youngsters from playing the

games

Use synonyms

after 10pm.

To sum up

Linking Words

, there are a great number of technological gadgets, like computers, that individuals can reach out to, resulting in young folks spending a large amount of time on video

games

Use synonyms

. There are pros and cons to

this

Linking Words

phenomenon;

for instance

Linking Words

, some benefits are that they can become creative and that they can obtain higher concentration.

By contrast

Linking Words

, some detriments are damaging their eyes and negatively impacting their academic performance.

ryoji779

Aug 3, 2025

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Task Achievement

Make your introduction clearer by stating the main points you will discuss. This helps the reader know what to expect.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use linking words like 'first', 'second', and 'finally' to improve the flow between ideas.

Task Achievement

Add more examples to support your points, especially on how video games can improve concentration.

Task Achievement

You made good points about creativity and concentration as benefits of video games.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion nicely summarizes the main ideas of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive skills
strategic thinking
problem-solving
hand-eye coordination
fine motor skills
aggressive behavior
addictive qualities
physical activity
social isolation
interpersonal relationships

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Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

Your opinion

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or out of season. Some people consider it a good idea, but some people oppose it. Discuss both view and give you own opinion

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on the human population . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think it would be better if the whole family (uncles, aunts, and grandparents) were involved in bringing up children rather than only parents

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?