IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same country makes the country develop faster. Do you agree?

#people #nationalities #backgrounds #country
Some people think that having people from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds living together in the same
country
 makes the
country
 develop faster. Do you agree?
Nowadays many
Accept comma addition
Nowadays, many
 people from different countries with different cultural backgrounds moving to other countries in order to have
better life style
Suggestion
a better life style
. I agree that people with different cultural backgrounds living in one
country
 helps to boost the
country
's economy and develop it faster. People move to other countries to look for better fortune that can change their living style and help their generation to progress financially and morally. Some countries allow people to come and work in their
country
 to make it thrive economically. People having different skills help within the
country
 to introduce new techniques that make their work faster and easier.
For instance
, Canada recently allowed immigrant from different countries that must have skills that give valuable benefit to the economy of the
country
. Skills like harvesting crops, truck driving has helped the
country
 strengthen
economically
Suggestion
economy
.
Secondly
, cultural backgrounds help to bring new methods that have never been introduced into
host
Suggestion
the host country
host countries
country
. In many countries there are different national food restaurants that become part of the host
country
.
For example
, in my hometown new Chinese restaurant was opened to help Chinese people
to have
Suggestion
have
 their
favorite
something regarded with special favor or liking
favourite
 dishes. That restaurant has turned into
favorite
something regarded with special favor or liking
favourite
 eatery place for local people in spite the fact that Chinese food isn't local food in my
country
. To conclude, many people move to different countries that enrich the countries' economies as well as help introduces new innovative ideas that help the
country
 to develop faster.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: