IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

An increasing number of people are now using dating sites to meet their sencond halves . Do you think that this tendency help people to socialize or does more harm tthan good ? Give your opinon

#people #sites #sencond #halves #tendency #harm #tthan #opinon
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Imformation
Suggestion
Information
 technology now dominates every aspect of our lives
.
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.
 It enables us to do everything just by a click
,
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,
such
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 as
:
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:
 Making
phong
electronic equipment that converts sound into electrical signals that can be transmitted over distances and then converts received signals back into sounds
phone
 call
,
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,
 using machines to do hard work and so on
.
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.
 We even
using
Suggestion
use
are using
 dating sites in
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 to find mates
.
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.
 In my opinion
,
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,
this
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 does more harm than good
,
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,
 and even leads to some
unexpectable
Suggestion
 consequence
.
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
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,
 we
can not
can not
cannot
 totally know about people whom we messaged
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, because the
perersonal
concerning or affecting a particular person or his or her private life and personality
personal
 photos of those can be edited
,
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,
 some misunderstanding situation
may be occur
Suggestion
may occur
.
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.
 As far as I know
,
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,
 some people
tends
Suggestion
tend
 to edit their pictures before
update
Suggestion
the update
 into networking sites
.
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.
 Because they want to be more attractive to
opposie-sex stranger
Suggestion
the opposite - sex stranger
opposite - sex stranger
.
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.
 Of course
,
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,
apperance
outward or visible aspect of a person or thing
appearance
 is the basic of the
first
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 sight
.
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.
 It can be the attractive feature of
face
Suggestion
the face
 or body
.
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.
 I am sure that almost people pay attention to
apperance
Suggestion
the appearance
appearance
appearances
 of those whom they talk with
.
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.
Secondly
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,
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,
 internet dating sites contain
variety type
Suggestion
a variety type
 of people
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,
 and some of those individuals are predator looking for unsuspected victims
.
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.
 They may disguise themselves and come across as kind and
charmimg
pleasing or delighting
charming
 in the beginning
.
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.
 Some people can be perturbed and reveal personal
informations
a message received and understood
information
.
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.
 It is very dangerous to do that
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,
 predators will easily perform their purposes for sex or money
.
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.
Finally
Linking Words
,
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,
 finding a dating object via
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 make us
depent
be contingent upon (something that is elided)
depend
 on technology too much
.
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.
 If you guys are far from your girl of boyfriends
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,
 you always have to pair up with
technology
Suggestion
technological
 items to chat with them
.
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.
 It is impractical for a relationship which you " see " her or his feelings by
typed
Suggestion
typing
type
 words
.
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.
 In short
,
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,
 in order to not fall into unavoidable circumstance
,
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,
 we
muts
be compelled, be necessary, have to, ought to
must
 always stay awake and protect ourself over exotic strangers.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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