Nowadays, the number of obese children is increasing at an alarming rate. What are some of the causes of this increase and how can the problem be solved?

The number of children who are suffering from obesity can be said to have reached epidemic proportions. So, what are the factors behind
this
obesity epidemic, and how can it be brought under control.
This
essay will attempt to answer these pressing questions.
Firstly
, it seems that a significant amount of blame can be given to poor diet combined with the marketing of unhealthy
food
toward young people. Children’s diets often consist of junk
food
,
such
as potato chips and candy, which is not only low in nutrients but
also
high in calories.
This
dietary issue is
also
compounded by the fact that these kinds of
food
are often marketed directly at children with fun cartoon mascots and bright colours that are designed to attract children’s attention. Another undeniable reason is
sedentary lifestyle
Suggestion
a sedentary lifestyle
. Children in the modern world tend to lead lives that are shockingly inactive compared to their predecessors. Much of their time is spent sitting in front of a screen, whether it be television, a computer, or a smartphone. In fact, studies have shown that children in urban environments tend to get only two hours of exercise per week compared to two hours per day just a generation ago.
Nevertheless
, through concerted action by parents and governments,
this
worrying situation can be alleviated. In terms of diet, parents need to play a greater role in controlling what their children eat. For the government’s part, they can introduce legislation restricting the promotion of unhealthy
food
to children.
Similarly
, parents need to make a greater effort to ensure their children are getting sufficient exercise on a daily basis, while the government can launch some kind of ‘stay active’ health campaigns. Overall, the rise in the number of obese children is certainly worrying, especially and kids are a vulnerable part of the population.
However
, by taking some
simple practical
Accept comma addition
simple, practical
steps, we can help to make sure that the
next
generation grows up healthy and strong.
Submitted by farhananafees on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: