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Writing Samples
Band 8

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures
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In
this
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 day and age, pressures of different forms,
such
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 as academic, social, and commercial aspects, surround children. There are various reasons for
such
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 pressures and certain possible solutions as well. One reason why children today face more
pressure
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 academically is because of the increasing competition at the
school
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. They have to apply themselves and study harder to achieve good grades in order to compete with their colleagues. Another source straining children is efforts to achieve high status in the society.
In other words
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, young students, in their teens, have to keep an eye over their overall development
such
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 as physical fitness and relationships to meet society’s expectations and fear of staying behind in these areas require significant concern.
Lastly
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, as soon as children complete their
school
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, they are overwhelmed by the need to find an employment. Even after securing a well- paid job, young adults have to comply themselves with the expected discipline of the commercial environment.
On the other hand
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, certain solutions for the alleviation of
pressure
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 over children are possible.
Firstly
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, the
pressure
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 that comes on from academic performance can be reduced by improving teaching standards at
school
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. Well- qualified teachers,
for instance
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, can be hired in
school
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 to teach.
This
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 will allow students to learn the relevant aspects of any topic without focussing on many different issues in the same topic.
Secondly
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, with respect to societal-tension, certain positive behaviours can be promoted amongst children to enable them to socialize with others and have meaningful relationships.
Finally
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, companies should permit recreational activities for their employees in the midst of busy schedule to help them cope up with the stress to perform in the workplace.
Such
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 solutions if implemented, will help bring down the effect children face from heightened stress. In conclusion,
although
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, over the certain years, the
pressure
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 from various sectors have increased in children, there are measures to address each of them.
Submitted by jchain22 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
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